The Railway Station
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
One night at a railway station
I was sitting in the air,
The world was quiet
Except for a few shimmering cries.
As if it were a graveyard
Full of trembling deaths,
Then suddenly times began changing
The mob began to pour.
As the train pulled in over
The place turned into a hell
Everybody busy from their head to the toes
The vessel made a shrill noise while moving forward
With the chaos gradually started settling
And the era of silence outstretched
I found myself on the railway station
Gazing at the bare railway tracks
The tracks that went together for miles like best of friends
But in reality they never did met
All it was a station
Which was a world in itself
Lots of people to come by you,
But not a single one to be met.
Hey people this is one of my few attempts on a non rhyming poetry. Would really like to have feedback and areas of improvement.
I actually didn't had too much of time to write a complete post today so kind of wrote this poetry in a hurry
7 Views of Point:
@Smita: Coming from you I take it as a compliment. Thanks a lot.
The first two lines reminded me of the first two lines of "Hotel California". Then I read the whole poem in that song's tune. LOL.
Nice poem though :)
Well observed, felt and written.. poems need not rhym all the times..
Good going :)
I absolutely love the metaphor..interesting.
And if u have written this in a hurry, I am curious to read what you would come up with in leisure time.
Poems are not all about rhyming. Take it from someone who has spent her last 3 yrs reading poems (for educational purpose) haha.
u write good poems :)
@partywithneha: Really, Hotel California... I read it now may be yes because it starts with I am sitting...
@TeekhiMirchi: Thank you
@Tanvi: Well I will write one in leisure time and post it soon.
@Reema: Thanks
Though am no judge of poetry (I am certified poetry hater for no reason per se) but I liked this one because
- It isn't rhyming
- You haven't used heavy emotions or words
- It is so simple :-)
I love it :-)