Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Horse Trading


Was sitting with the Bossty- the Buffet Dude, J-Knee and Ru- the aerobics dudette over lunch and the discussion loomed over a sensitive topic very close to Ru’s heart. Anyways when the discussion is of female clothings (which are generally less of clothes and more of nothing these days, wonder why we call it clothing) Ru is over sensitive. However this time we were sitting on lunch discussing about the plight of a friend of ours who has reached close within the expiry date of his bachelorhood. He went for the Bridal shopping for what is currently his life (over the strong Hava, paani & Reliance network) and would soon become his wife. He told that he went to shop bridal lehenga to commemorate the occasion he would start a new phase of his life and they eventually settled on something on the tunes of 100000 INR. Yes there are no extra zeros in that figure I confirmed thrice.

So when we were discussing the relevance of the so called “Shaadi ka Lehenga” and its exorbitant price (however you can never explain this to a girl). Bossty cam up with an interesting business plan of renting the lehenga’s for marriages and saving money over that. Ru turned her head faster than Shane Warne would dream of turning the ball; and gave a look stamped “Escape; I turned into man-eater”. Scared as ever Bossty tried to fit in the logic that the attire is only meant for being worn once and it is such a waste of money and would be practical and logical to rent a lehenga. Ru’s gaze stopped her to getting into NPV & IRR of the proposition and long term returns. As evident Logic not being Ru’s major in graduation she brought in her area of expertise E-Motions. Marriage happens just for once; how can you wear a rented Lehenga on your own wedding no one would know it but you would know it. Its once in a life time chance to get married (though Bossty had a plan of keeping 4-5 wives and keep shuffling them on yearly basis) but he dared not to interrupt between Ru’s passionate speech.

For once I felt Ru scored over Bossty and the discussion goes to Ru’s passion over the subject. When Bossty asked a question collecting all his innocence which has long left with dreams of onsite –“If that’s the case every guy should buy a horse before the marriage after all it is one time use and marriage is once in a life time opportunity. Shall we ask Ru’s ********* to …........”.

Now Ru & Bossty have a new venture known as “RuBo Lehenga & Horse Rentals”

Long live marriages, expensive lehengas, healthy horses & steady cashflows :-)

Posted by Prats at 11:52 PM  

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Hogging Spree

Out of all the Hyderabad which was tucked cosily in their beds and engulfed in deep sleep. Five brave musketeers went on for an attempt to enhance the food grain crisis in the world and support "The Global Bully's" (read president Bush) claim that "Indians are eating more food". Sob Sob!!! for all the poor Americans who were deprived of food because of 5 desi's. Don't worry folks we will return the favor, you know the guy who would fix your software yes yes the same low wage Indian guy, Will fix your softwares as cheap labors. Anyways getting US out of A this was how we proceeded for the glorious evening-

2030 hrs: Met Di & Ru
2040 hrs: Cafe Brio- Ordered Iced Mochachino & Cottage Cheese Croissant
2100 hrs: Cafe Brio folks threw all three out as they were about to close.
2110 hrs: Update call J-Knee, Bossty on the way
2130 hrs: J-Knee, Bossty, Ru-Di & Me out of McD deciding where to eat
2140 hrs: J-Knee gets McVeggie & Iced Tea for Ru-Di
2150 hrs: Operation Water started Di & J-Knee finish the Iced Tea
2200 hrs: J-Knee and yours truly add water to Ice Tea and pass it to Ru.
2215 hrs: Place still not decided and J-Knee & Ru buy more Ice Tea.
2230 hrs: Place decided Taj banjara.
2245 hrs: Reach Eat street to kill time for midnight buffet to start
2310 hrs: The guard starts the third degree whistling torture to throw the musketeers out
2320 hrs: The musketeers give up ride back to Taj Banjara
2335 hrs: Midnight Buffet menu pathetic everyone back to square one.
2336 hrs: Phone calls to Novotell, Hotel green park, consideration goes on.
2350 hrs: Ohri's suggested
2351 hrs: Di gives us a warning that she would talk about how Integral equations for complex number have a direct application in French Manicures & Padicures if Ohris was considered.
2355 hrs: Urs truly to save the disgrace on the likes of Integral Calculus pushes for Novotel
0000 hrs: Eureka happens Ru Calls Taj Deccan & Krishna
0010 hrs: the group settles for Taj deccan & ransacks Taj Deccan
0030 hrs: Buffet Starts
0035 hrs: Initial Prospecting Finish. Starters Start
0050 hrs: Starters phase 1 finsih
0100 hrs: Soup & Starters Phase 2 continues
0105 hrs: J-knee insists on the Taj guys to burn some bread for the soup.
0110 hrs: Urs Truly & J-Knee continued while Bossty &Ru-Di took a break
0115 hrs: Cute gang of Girls entered the hotel
0120 hrs: J-Knee went to check out them chicks on a pretext of walks
0125 hrs: Bossty follows and then Ru-Di ( I am not sure why)
0130 hrs: The girls happen to come to the Restaurant from their room to check out urs truly ( I know it happens with me quite often)
0130 hrs: Starters round 3 & Cut Fruits continued (all the while expert opinions from Bossty & Ru continued on how to eat more without filling the stomach, They have some weird logic abt the permutations and combinations of eating. Like eating watermelon would enhance the digestion cycle and would lead to more space in the stomach. I always thought it added to the roughage)
0150 hrs: Main Course Round starts
0155 hrs: Parallel Desrt processing start
0215 hrs: Desserts round 1 starts
0220 hrs: Dessert round 2 starts, manager ordered to refill the desert section of the buffet now looking like a ransacked battleground.
0220 hrs: urs truly emphasized on the caramel custard and Ru goes after the strawberry mousse ( which was strawberry mousse I am not sure, becaus ewaiter brought something out of the world when asked for the strawberry mouse)
0230 hrs: Manager comes back telling that we have gobbled everything that could be classified as caramel custard and offered some chocolate pastries instead.
0232 hrs: Pastries finished
0233 hrs: Everyone picked up fruits kept for display & decoration and started eating them.
0235 hrs: The terrified staff closed of the buffet and they have submitted a plea of mercy to the CEO of Taj group to stop the Buffets in all Taj Restaurants across the globe.

and the five musketeers struggled to lift their heavy bodies outside the hotel and our Hogging Spree came to an end.

Ps. Ru-Di have been hogging before I met them at Mochas savoring Dutch truffle Shakes & Club Wraps.

I knw Mr. president you are absolutely right!!!!

Posted by Prats at 12:52 AM  

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Book Binge

Read the following books during 5th May & 31st May-

1- Almost Single
2- 3 Mistakes of My life
3- Arranged Marriages
4- iWoz
5- Six Thinking Hats
6- Mirza Ghalib -Biography
7- Banker to The Poor
8- If god was a Banker

Posted by Prats at 10:45 PM  

BLOCKED

This post might sound like ranting but to me it seems what is actually bothering my thoughts since a long time. I seriously believe that a conversation could only lead to a thing like which happens so often in such renounced company.

Setting: The HR Guy, The Network Guy, The Employee in a deep discussion.

HR: I have joined this organization such a long time ago. I need something to show that I am useful or they will all know that I am just passing time.

NW: Ditto my case is still worse. At least employees are afraid of you. If they come to no I have no work I will be the first one packing my bags.

Emp: But why you are supposed to be pillars of organization. Why do we need to be afraid of you.

HR & NW: Shut Up!!!! You don’t know anything about organizations.

HR: We need to come up with some plan with which we can fake usefulness in the company.

Emp: But Why you need to fake you can actually work to increase the Productivity……….

HR: Productivity that is it. That’s what I will be doing.

Emp: yes, you can actually work to improve………

NW: Shut Up!!!! I have a brilliant idea which can address both of out concerns at once. We can block. Both will benefit

HR: Will do what?????

NW: We can block things it would hypothetically show that we have enhanced productivity.

HR: Sounds good not much effort eh is it ????

Emp: But….

NW (Excitedly): No just a little tweak in the firewall.

HR: Ok What all employees use Orkut

NW: Gtalk

Emp: No!!!!

HR: All other Chat clients.

NW: easy, flickr & blogs

Emp: No Way!!!!!

HR: lets block all.

Emp: What is the logic for doing it?

HR: Logic what is that?

Emp: But it won’t increase the productivity will it.

HR: I don’t want to increase it. I just want to show that I am doing it. Anyways they can’t measure it.

NW: HeeeeeeHowwwww (weird Laugh)

HR: Can’t we block the public email sites. The F***ing B*****Ds post resumes through them and also can we block job sites.

NW: Job sites is easy.

Emp: NO You can’t block Public Email Sites.

NW: But why you want to block it.

HR: If they won’t post resume it would reduce the attrition numbers in my tenure. At the end of the day numbers are all that matters.

Emp: You will never be able to do it. You can never justify it.

NW: Eureka!!! I can do it. Security issue, Enhanced security for the clients. Employees can transfer code and data through public email.

Emp: But no one does it, you know it. They don’t even bother about it where there are products being coded for millions of dollar like MS & Google.

NW: Who cares after all clients security is our first concern. Right (Winks to the HR)

HR: Promotion next quarter!!!!

Posted by Prats at 10:44 PM