FINE

Monday, December 22, 2008

I have written a guest post recently on Nids' Blog, You can check the post here. Thanks a lot Nids for tolrating my bakwaas on your blog. :-)

Posted by Prats at 2:15 PM  

MBA Connection

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I was having a chat with one of my friends, It was a catching up after a long time chat and the conversation moved in such a direction, which can happen only between two MBA's. The amazing point was there was nothing substantial in the conversation; but still both of us had a hearty laugh and shared an amazing moment of connect. I am reproducing an excerpt of the conversation which happened between us-


Anu: Surat, city of bombs
me:  cool, City of Diamonds as well
     Shaadi ke liye shopping kar lo
     :P
anu:  ye y e..
      u mean..pehle diamonds khareed ke rakh lu
      fir ladka to mil hi jayega
      lol
me:  he he he
     Aur kya
     obviously
     Ladka bhi khush rahega
anu:  corrct
      i shud optimize my time
me:  ladki ne diamonds already khareed rakhe hai
      mujhe dukhi nahi karegi
      Diamonds ke liye
      :P
anu:  lol
      mayb or mayb not..
me:  Thats the nightmare guys have when they are palnnign to get married
     "Mujhe 22 Carat Solitare chahiye" types
     :)
anu:  lol
      but mister
      there is smething called as credit also
      coz.. agar main 10-20lac k diamond credit pe le lungi ....to uski vaat lag jayegi....
      lol
      ki holo?
me:  He he he he
     10-20 Lac ka credit
anu:  yeah
me:  baap re
anu:  ajakl credit dene k liye bahut banks vaise bhi ghum rahe hain
me:  Matlab tum shaadi ki annual returns main liabilities main lis hogi instead of assets
anu:  vo sari zindagi chukata hi rahega
      aur nahi to kya
me:  Bechara structured financing ka course revise karta karta mar jayega
anu:  kisi ke palle padungi ...to sochega ki pichle janam me koi ghor paap kiya hoga
me:  :)
anu:  lol
      lol
      LOL
      arrey uski khud ki life imbalance ho jayegi.... balance sheet kya banayega :D
me:  Persona Life Sub Prime crisis
     the asset which looked strikingly attractive on the eve of the marriage turned liabilities in the longer term
     Leading to Bankruptcy
     Awesome Awesome
     lets Recommend US govt they should design a bail out package around you :P
     for financing all your diamonds
     what say?
anu:  lol
      pls recommend them
      atleast wud fetch me lotsa limelite
      if nothing else
      :D
me:  he he he I might also get the Nobel Prize for solving the Sub prime Crisis
     Win-Win-Win Situation
     :)
anu:  yo yo

Posted by Prats at 11:38 PM  

5 Reason Why I am more miserable than Dilbert

Friday, December 05, 2008

Most of you would have been following or randomly reading Dilbert and enjoying his misery at office. A lot of sadists like Dilbert because it gives them a sadistic feeling there is someone who is in the worse state than they are. I know when you look at someone something, who is not in a good condition as you are, you feel better. I have been doing this since n number of years under observed parental guidance when the usual conversation was initiated by mom in the following fashion “Yeh report card hai tumhara. Yeh number aaye hai, isse kuch hota hai aajkal, isko to bas padhao mat computer pe bitha do, vedio game khilwa lo bas padhai mat karwao. Dekho pados wale Mishra ji ke bête ko har saal first aata hai….” The last line used to be my moment of truth when I would get a line of self defense “Abhi Mishra uncle ke bête ko kyon Sharma uncle ke bête ko bhi dekho who to Doosri baar bhi fail ho gaya, Main kam se kam paas to hua (Large Grin on the face)” and this generally used to end up with a huge lecture from my mom that would have been nominated for Best Mother in Speech giving role in Oscars had the movie bach le India been casted properly.

However getting back from my reminiscence, I was talking about how if Dilbert needed an example to his mom he would surely quote “Nalayak beta” aka yours truly. You want to know why here is my answer-

1- He has to attend boring meetings where there he just sits back and makes fun of people in his thought bubble. I am denied of this pleasure as well, you know having all the meetings by telephone calls. My object of mockery reduces to the mere telephone, which I am too scared to mock lest he might produce disturbances in the line when I order Pizza’s for dinner. I have learnt it hard way you can afford to be on a wrong side of an underworld Don (which most of us really are) being on the other side of the phone might be still more dangerous. It just might allow your manager to pass his teeth momentarily through the line to bite your ear off. It’s possible and very painful, if you don’t believe you can directly (at your own risk) ask Evander Holyfield

2- Then meetings, Dilbert gets donuts in the meeting. That’s so sweet of the company, I mean given the course of the situation I would die for a company offering Donuts in the meeting. I mean how nice is that? When the boss is shouting at top of his voice, gyrating instructions spluttering in his French accent reminding you of his last vacation destination. You silently move your hand forward take a small slice of donut, wrap it up in the chocolate sauce slowly keep in your mouth and wait as the donut and sauce melts in your mouth. Mmmmm What a divine pleasure, 15 second bliss amidst a hell. Lucky Dilbert, but for me chuck it arrrrghh…

3- Now the boss, here is where Dilbert gets really lucky he has one boss the pointed hair one who is a jackass. I am into something which is called as Reporting Structure and which we have for our extra pleasure defined as “Dotted”, pun intended. Now when it comes to assigning work I have four bosses who all in independent capacities of each other can can assign me a full load of work. All this seems trivial when I have a 5th boss who decides how well I have done my work independent of all other four gentleman. His favorite online signature being “How would I know”, yeah of course how would anyone else in the word know? Laugh Mr. Dilbert laugh to your fullest on the misery of this corporate weasel.

4- Now, the method of insults Dilbert is offended by offering him no hikes. But at least he can still feel good about the status quo. I wish life would have been so rosy with a rosy for yours truly. But as man proposes and god disposes, yours truly got a hike a tiny winy one though but optimistic me tries to attain a bliss which is shattered at the next moment identifying the hike was nothing but to equate the pay with the fresh recruits. This is what is called torture and insult Mr. Dilbert, I am sure what would you know of it.

5- The best part about Dilbert’s job which makes me jealous of him is of all things he knows what he is doing and if the project is going to fail or not. But me, the poor me toils hard and toils still harder just to find out the requirement has changed and nothing is freezed as is. I mean I cannot write specs for a nuclear bomb to be made out of used radiator valves, you would not get it Mr. Dilbert do you mind writing all those bloody specs here while I feature myself in the cartoon, for a change what say?

I am sure all of you must be in tears after reading this as I am. So to end this misery of this poor soul all donations can be directed to my bank account. The number will be given to people on special request on the email and phone. The donations are not tax free though, but I promise you when Scott Adams features me as a replacement of Dilbert, I will let you all figure in my cartoon strip. Pakka Promise. :-)

Posted by Prats at 11:09 PM  

Perceptions

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I was got into this Tag by Nidhi, so here I go. Answer these questions for me in comments and Leave a comment in the blog if you want answers of the same questions for you from me, I will reply back.


1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. Something I have and YOU want?
4. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it?
5. Describe me in one word.
6. What was your first impression of me?
7. Do you still think that way about me now?
8. What reminds you of me?
9. If you could give me anything what would it be?
10. How well do you know me?
11. How do you see me in the future?
12. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
13. Are you going to post this in your blog and see what I say about you?

Posted by Prats at 12:00 PM  

Question Meme

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I found this interesting link which asks questions about 10 people you mention. So here are the ten question and the answers I gave-

1. Does Sumeet have any pets?
No I don't think he likes Animals.

2. Who is Vikram's best Friend?
Shreya, I think so.

3. Would you love to read Bhatia's very personal diary?
No,If it is Bhatia's there would be nothing personal in it.

4. Would you open a mystery gift Reena just gave you, without much hesitation?
I am sure of Reen's ka choices in everything

5. What's Ankit's opinion on cheese?
Loves it absolutely

6. What would Aditi not be caught dead in?
A state where she is without her handbags, accessories, hair properly done and absolutely branded clothes.

7. In a race between you, Praveen and Reena, who would win?
Praveen, Reena would come last as she would be wearing stiletto which would hurt even while walking and I am a fat-ass so won't run fast.

8. What would you do if Shantanu and Ankit were going out?
Join them for the blast, what else?

9. Name something you have in common with Deepti?
Books, books & a lot of other things for which she will kill me if I disclosed here

10. Can Neha be a bad influence?
Naaah!! She is too kiddo to be bad!!

Posted by Prats at 12:43 PM  

Be-Car

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Buying a car is one of the most important moments in the life of a person. The whole decision making process to buy a car is not much different from the other major decisions one takes in life. Courtesy the events in my life, yours truly have earned good experience in helping a lot of people to buy cars. So here are my 10 cents of wisdom on owning the car.

The first thing which one needs to remember while owning a car, it’s just like finding the ideal women of your life. The most important thing people tend to think are numbers like 1.6L, 1300cc engine capacity. But these numbers are like the vital statistics. They are highly irrelevant, neither do you drive your car at astronomically high speeds regularly nor do you make your girl walk the ramp everyday. So next time when the sales person confuses you with the mumbo jumbo numbers of the engine capacity, remember in the city driving conditions anything above 1000cc would be more than sufficient.

Another common thread which links the women with the cars is looks do matter. When you choose the women of your life or a car, the way she looks and the way she stands by your side is important. And more importantly you should find her beautiful enough that even after two years you should feel good about her.

But the thing which actually more important than the looks is how you feel when you are inside her, pun intended. As important is the warmth, joy, and the behavior of the women is in your life so is the feeling when you are inside the car. One should be entirely comfortable and if you think a feature is something which would make you feel nice. Then try to have it, you are not going to get another too soon is it car or….

One thing which people tend to ignore when taking crucial decisions is the cost of ownership. A highly sophisticated lady with a decent employment might seem like a very lucrative and a steal for a deal. But you know her javed habib’s bill, her Versace handbags, her Guess & Espirit designer wear might turn to be otherwise. Same happens with a car, which in terms of price might appear as a steal but if the mileage is low and the spares parts are costly it might make your wallet bleed bit by bit. So ensure you are making a right choice.

All who have been or are in a relationship would know how important the accessories are for a woman. You know if the stiletto doesn’t match the earrings you might always regret why you actually decided to come out for the occasion. So if you don’t have the accessories, like matting, mud flaps, Teflon coating you just might wonder why you stepped inside the car on a particular day did. So always insist your car is complete in terms of accessories, its better to negotiate to have them from the dealer.

To end it all once you are through with everything, always remember you don’t let other people go out alone with your wife. No not for a trial at the least, no in most cases not even to close friends I assume. So avoid doing that with your car as well, and I am sure you and your love will do just fine.

After all true love as pure as between a man and his car can not be bought its nurtured over the first times and times yet again. So in your lives just enjoy the RIDE (all the pun intended).

Posted by Prats at 12:11 AM  

Really Refreshing

Saturday, November 01, 2008

I have always loved Limca Ads, generally they go well with the image. I somehow find myself relating so much with their new ad. Specially with the kind of chemistry the girl & the guy have and the music track & lyrics conveys the message right across. It just seems to be perfect. Good work Limca, good work O & M. I feel the need to be refreshed after watching this one.
You can watch the Ad here, and The lyrics are as following-

Fuhaarein, Baucharein, Nazaare chura lo na,

Kuch boondein chura lo na,
Thaki si zindagi se, ruki si zindagi se, kuch lamhe chura lo na,
Kuch yaadein, kuch sapne apne chura lo na,
Thaki si zindagi se, ruki si zindagi se, raftaar chura lo na.

The previous ad which was on a similar theme featuring Riya Sen was this one.

Posted by Prats at 2:38 PM  

Murphy in Action

Things have suddenly been acting against me out of turn. Somehow things which seemed like if not in my favor then at least neutral somehow the whole world is conspiring against me. I know I sound like a cynic but actually I am a bit cynical, and I have always believed that when left to the world it tends to act favoring me the least. However, coming to the present my life is acting weirdly on multiple accounts; an interesting incident is here.

I am generally a person who likes to plan things perfectly and I have a backup plan B & a still backup plan C. Though both B & C are waste enough to be implemented, if they were good enough they would have been plan A. But anyhow, I came to Kanpur for celebrating Diwali. I am supposed to return tomorrow back to Pune. I had asked someone in Mumbai to get a Tatkal ticket for the train which I wanted to take. I still did not get the confirmed ticket, so in the end I had to look for Plan B. The plan B was to take flight, here the story starts I had three options I could take a flight from Lucknow-Mumbai and then take a bus from Mumbai flight costs 12,000+ Second option take Flight from Delhi-Pune costs 8,000+, third option Take flight from Delhi-Mumbai and take a bus thereafter cost 6,000+. Lucknow option was smilingly rejected, given the current situation of market & credit crunch situation hitting IT, they just might start the cost cutting from my job saying “you can afford too much”. What my plan B assumed was totally in contrast to what they teach you during MBA “Never rely on assumptions” which in my case was Kanpur-Delhi has awesome rail connectivity, there are more than 50 trains on the route. However when the world conspires yours truly just perspires. Every train was booked with every class. They didn’t even left Shatabdi first class which generally goes empty. Then to add icing to the cake trains to Delhi & flights to Pune were at such odd timings that I could have never ever caught any of the flight. So I decided to take a train to Delhi in the morning and booked a Mumbai flight in the evening. I was happy that at least something was happening as per the plan. However it would be unfair not to mention my Plan C was try and haggle in the Lucknow Pune train with the waiting ticket and pataofy the TC to give me a place to sleep in the night. The plan was a bad one, because running after the TC with the bag full of Sweets, Mathris, dry fruits and Home made eating stuff eagerly packed by my mom (did I mentioned forcefully) is a bad idea. Confident that my plan B was the best one, I went to meet my old school friends in a get together. There is turned out that one of my school time buddies was back from South Africa just at Diwali time and would be travelling by the same train back to Pune and he had a confirmed ticket. Now it in all probabilities makes the Plan C far more attractive than Plan B just because chasing the TC in the train without luggage is far more easier than the traumatic Day time travel in the gen category compartment from Kanput to Delhi. Now I had already spent 7,000 bucks on a flight, now I went back to the cancel the flight loosing almost 4,500 bucks for nothing. Now there came the best part, I was supposed to receive the ticket through courier and somehow the courier people managed to lost my courier. Now here I was 4,500 bucks down the drain and on the verge of failure of all the Plans A-Z I had, I could just feel irritated. Like I said, the world has definitely something against me.

P.s: I finally managed to get hold of the ticket form the courier head office here and I am hoping for an eventful journey involving a lot of human interaction with the TC from all the zones of railways.

Posted by Prats at 2:34 PM  

Happy Diwali

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Here on this auspicious kingdom of honor lived a prince,
The place of joy, euphony, and happiness it was where nobody winced,
Not a day, decades but hundreds of centuries ago,
“Prince well be our ruler”, “long live the prince”, the kingdom roared so.

The fate looked sealed but destiny had other things in mind,
Of course the love for her own real son made her blind,
When the queen and the tantrum bind the king with a promise,
14 years of exile for the step son she asked and led to the king’s nemesis.

The prince went to the forest to keep the father’s bind,
Along with brother and wife, leaving the kingdom behind,
The evil demon had his eye on the prince’s wife,
He laid his vicious plans to fly away, leaving the prince in a plight.

The prince gathered an army determined to end the evil,
He crossed the oceans, with his quiver of arrows and sword waiting for the kill,
War was ferocious the evil demon finally fell,
The prince finally won, and there was a tale to tell.

The wife re-united with the prince and the celebrations galore,
The victory of the good over evil was the folklore,
The conquest was done and the years of exile has passed,
The time to return to his kingdom came at last.

The subjects were overjoyed to welcome their victorious prince,
Lights, decoration, and celebration all it was since,
The prince who conquered evil was back to be the king,
In his praise the victory song they sing.

And the Amavsya of the Kartik month was marked as happy one for ages to come by,
The day to be celebrated by rich or poor, extroverts or shy,
Everyone just forgets their troubles and worries,
Just fold their hands in unison to greet every one A Very Happy Diwali!!!

Wishing a very happy and prosperous Diwali to all my readers.
For those not from India, Diwali is a major Indian festival celebrated every year on Amavasya(No Moon Night) of the Kartik month (Indian Calendar)to mark the return of Lord Ram back in Ayodhya after killing the viscious Ravana. Its celebrated all across the country with lights, candles and fireworks. For more details check the wiki link here.



Posted by Prats at 5:58 PM  

Thank you for Smoking

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Until recently I was having a discussion with some of my friends and I expressed my views about one of the discussed topics, the recently imposed ban on smoking at public places. I had some different views from the group which thought ban was a progressive step taken by the government. That is what Sumeet has quoted here in his blog. I thought it would be justified to the audience when I should explain why exactly I am against the ban.

To start with let’s get to the core of the subject, what exactly is the purpose of the ban? What can be defined as the Public place? First of all let us understand the meaning of ban, a ban is a very strict decree which entails a prohibition of certain activity by making it illegal. If you intentionally or unintentionally commit the mentioned activity you become a criminal and can be prosecuted for the same. So when government has put up a ban on smoking in public places. The basic intention I believe behind this ban is; the final enlightenment of the government that smoking is injurious to health and is a probable cause of cancer and other respiratory conditions. So the ban should be instituted to protect all the people who might die of the diseases caused by smoking. Now for the government as an institution all the subjects should be equal, so the attempt to protect all citizens should be equal. A person who is a citizen of India should not be allowed to consume cigarettes invariably something like Marijuana, Cocaine or Heroine. A lot of you would say that these are drugs and they are harmful; but the crude fact is all these drugs and cigarettes are addictive and harmful for health. Cigarette might be a slower addiction and the harmful affects show in a bit longer run; now I mean it is similar to say consumption of potassium cyanide on will is disallowed; but for suicide a relatively slower poison available for consumption. If the intent of protecting people is so genuine and honest; then shouldn’t government go ahead and ban the sale of all kinds of cigarette across India; that would serve a purpose effectively. I mean this would immediately and most effectively reduce the ill-effects of cigarettes across the country. But the government wouldn’t do so, because they do not want the high taxes coming from the tobacco going down.

Second argument which would come would be the idea of free will; that a person is allowed to smoke but not in public spaces where it might harm others. Now the basic idea is that if a person is allowed to smoke in private; then let us first define what public is and what is private and how would this equation affect people. Now for the sake of discussion let us take a definition of public as something which is not completely owned or leased or habitat for the person. So a person is allowed to smoke in the locations which are not above which more or less leaves the homes. Now here comes my major concern if the government is so concerned then why this bias against the family members of the same person. For a government since all its subjects are equal why risk the heath of the family members of the smoker. Interestingly the guy who always used to go out of the house to puff a cigarette (he smoked because he couldn’t quit) so that it doesn’t harms his family. He used to walk to a solitary corner on the road near the Pan Shop and used to smoke. Such an amicable solution; now the same guy when indulges himself with his tobacco becomes a criminal as he violates the ban. So to be a non-criminal he is supposed to suffocate his children and family. Now if the government wanted the people to be healthy and in good spirit wouldn’t it would have been more simpler just to say no one is allowed to cell cigarettes in India.

But here is the catch government when constituted this law is neither interested in the health of the public in general. Nor it has to be in any concerns of its positive effects. What would actually happen which we all know including our honorable health minister-

1- The poor labor class for whom the source of entertainment is derived from smoking a 5 paise bidi would continue to smoke in public. They anyways cannot afford to pay fine; so might be on some rough days constables would chase them for pure fun may be struck a couple of whacks and leave the smokers with their sticks

2- The so called common man, the middle class who is not strikingly rich but still have a wallet and some money to pay to the cops would be troubled by the police.

3- The illegal smoking places would pop up here and there which would pay hafta to the police to let people smoke in their premises.

4- The minister being a highly knowledgeable man would be able to fool the public like every time but this time all educated public to enhance is public image and vote bank.

So I am totally against the ban of smoking in public places. So Minister sir my humble request to you is before you come with these awesome ideas of yours why don’t you direct the tax income for cigarettes to the health and come out one day and say that in India no one would die because there wasn’t proper beds, medicine, equipment available in the “SARKARI HOSPITAL”. When you have done this ban cigarettes, ban alcohol, ban cheese or oil if you want to for heath reason and I will campaign for you. But before you breach the free will of the people; earn the right to do it apart from elections.

Posted by Prats at 12:07 AM  

SMS Channel from Google

Friday, October 10, 2008

Hi,

For all those who have always cribbed that they do not get time to read my blog online or through the feed/newsletter. You can the Google SMS Channel. This thing seems to be awesome though it works only with the Indian mobiles. It's still a beta version or in labs stage so try this one out right here.

Click here to subscribe through SMS

Regards

G & C

Posted by Prats at 3:05 PM  

Story

A new Story on the Story blog. You can read it here or through the link on the top menu.

Posted by Prats at 3:03 PM  

Aukaat

Monday, October 06, 2008

It feels really good to be in Pune, especially when I spent two awesome years of my life here in this city. The best part of the student life is that it attaches you big time to the city. You leave a part of yours when you move out, Pune is same to me. Irrespective of 1001 complaints you will receive about it whether the traffic which never seems to be in order, or the potholes which seem to outnumber the number of roads in the city or the rains which show a deep influence from Jim Carrey’s Mast yelling all the time ‘Somebody Stop Me!!!’ or now the latest politician on the block Mr. Raj Thackrey and his lingual biases. Despite all this my love for this city is something which is constant, you can attribute it to weather, the crowd anything but for sake of my comfort I would say I have spent two best years of my life right here. A few days ago I was actually contemplating where to have dinner, was not really sure where I wanted to have my dinner and what I wanted to eat. When me & Sumeet passed what used to be our college building one and a half years ago. I saw the NCC canteen was still open and I immediately pulled over.

As I climbed down the stairs of the canteen, a feeling of Nostalgia hit me. Nothing had changed there. The seats were the same, the students were scattered and the conversations regarding tests, subjects, movies were going amidst thick layers of cigarette smoke (yes I know the sticks are banned, but you can’t stop the kids. Not in their college canteen, absolutely not. More coming on the ban in my next post) It just seemed that we have moved further away. A realization that the places don’t change we are the ones who change; I saw this was the place where I used to have my daily lunch for two years. I actually relished the canteen food after the long lectures and hardships of deadlines and assignments, today I would not think of visiting a place like this. Yes, I am quite a snob when it comes to places to eat and watching movies I do not like any place which lacks proper ambience. But the college canteen despite nowhere close to the places I prefer to eat in was something made me feel home. The surprises came in the form of people, Ganesh Anna the manager & cashier of the place, Chandu and other waiters and chefs recognizing us immediately. Coming up to us talking being concerned how we are doing. We ordered our food and as soon as we did and the waiter narrated the order to the Chef. The manager shouted back at the chef “Ache se banana, Bhai ka khana hai” (prepare the food well, it is for our brother). A feeling swept in that how respect worthy & important we were for this guy. How we sat in the place like we owned it, no formalities, nothing doing absolutely like a king. No 5 star in this world could match that, having eaten in best of the places but the kind of treatment was irreplaceable.

Now I fully understand when DJ (Amir Khan) says in Rang De Basanti “Mujhe University main hi rehna hai. University main apni ek aukaat hai. Log kehte hai DJ main badi baat hai kuch karega DJ. Universtiy ke gate ke is paar hum life ko nachate hai aur gate ke us par life humko nachati hai” (I want to remain in the university only. Inside the University I have a standing, people say DJ has something special about him, they know me who I am. They say I will achieve one day. On the insides of the gates we make the life dance on our tunes on the other side of the gate life makes us dance on her tunes).

I have had parties which have amounted more than my entire expenses at the NNC canteen for months. But still those restaurant people won’t even know what my name is. But is NCC canteen main, ithe to apni kuch aukaat hai. Log Jaante hai mainnu yahan par. (in this NCC canteen I have my own standings people know me here). NCC rocks!!!

Posted by Prats at 1:25 PM