Ginger & Cardamom

Well as most of you would have read my take on guys & crying here already. Recently Reema wrote back supporting her view point. Well her take is quite interesting. So I am adding a few clarifications and elaborate my point of view.

So let’s first narrow our view only to the emotional tears and Reema’s reason for the guys should actually cry.

1- Well Ancient Greeks Did it- Well firstly I don’t agree that since Ancient Greeks did it so should everyone in the world. Well it would be like saying that Ancient Indians used to burn their women after the death of the husbands and we should keep doing it. Well that’s pointless. Now coming to the second part that why did actually the males in Greece cried. Well the history suggests that Greece is one of the oldest land where male homosexuality in more common words being gay was socially accepted So between men and their relationship there had to be a role player of a woman, which kind of quite indicates about the crying men was a part of society and was accepted culturally.

2- Mangnese Content- Well another point which has been pointed is that Tears help release manganese content out of the body which helps control temperament. Well manganese has a lot of other benefits like formation of hormones which combat infection, assists in the protein build up, helps prevent failing memory and also builds thyroxin for the body. Now one good reason to flush the manganese out of the body?? Anyone?

3- Prolactin – Well supposedly this is something which regulates production in the body. Now coming back to guys crying, if a guy is producing milk through his body the situation is highly abnormal and for most of the reasons will be a disease called galactorrhea and trust me as in all other cases the crying won’t help here either. I am sure you get the point.

4- Emotional Intelligence- Well now let me get this thing clear emotional intelligence has got nothing to do with crying its more about understanding and ability to perceive emotions and use them as a data points and information for effective leadership and decision making. Now a guy who cry on everything doesn’t has more EQ as compared to someone who doesn’t. You know in a similar way that fear of change is an emotion and a person who understands what it is and can use his understanding has more EQ as compared to someone who himself is afraid of change. Similarly in case of crying, a person needs to be able to relate and understand the reason and emotion behind crying, which for most part is grief rather than crying.

5- My Friends say so- Well that is simply not a reason. A lot of my friends have a belief and they would swear by it but one cannot simply generalize it to the entire society. For example, a group of friends who think Marijuana is cool doesn’t reflect the perspective of the entire society and neither makes it correct. So what your friends think is a set of personalized opinion just like I have mine that Guys should not cry. Since we actually friend or connect with likeminded people there is a higher probability of bias in the sample you are conducting the survey with. Definitely you cannot generalize this opinion.

6- Some examples for great men who cried- Well for every great men who cried there would be a 100 others who didn’t. The point is the men were not great because they cried, nor were they respected for this. They are respected for what they are and what they have done in their life.

Now coming back to some tit-bits on my part, I am not saying that it is a sin for guys to cry. My point is that crying does not make them sensitive or caring or good. As a matter of fact, as we have discussed the Sreesanth’s episode of crying, so if I assume that he would be a sensitive guy as many people have suggested, we should look at his statement about a struggling actress that he would not date a struggling actor he would go for a seasoned one. Well if that was really a sensitive guy speaking, I am sorry my definition of sensitivity is all haywire.

There is nothing wrong or right about crying, its not even an emotion. Its an expression of an emotion, and I totally agree that guys can and should be receptive to all kinds of emotions but the expression of emotions by a special form doesn’t make them any superior in any ways. If at all it can do anything it would portray a weak image of them, when the society and biology expects them to be strong (well if you don’t agree to my biologically part then please before arguing back try and talk to the International Olympics Committee and ask why do they have separate events for male and females) .

I was having a discussion with Reema, Rushme and Jay, The discussion started with men and pink shirt and eventually moved to a point where the center topic was it is cool for guys to cry. Actually R & R think that guys who cry are more sensitive and more understanding which makes them more marriageable, datable etc material. Well this where I disagree, my point is the crying guys are not sensitive, they are sissy. Essentially Reema gave me a long tweet distributed over 3 tweets where she gave me all the high Funda of Emotional Intelligence. I replied that I can’t explain it in such few words, so I would rather post a blog. So here are my 5 reasons why guys should not cry-
1- No Sudden Shock Cry- This is when something really shocking and sad happens making your heart feel sinking, like death of someone close or illness of someone who is important. Well these exactly are sad moments and the loss might be overwhelming, but the fact is in case of death or illness everyone around you would be losing control of their emotions. In this situation it is a responsibility of a guy to take care of the situation, move on with life and help others around you cope with the loss. Not just let yourself loose and keep your tears dripping and just the let the situation go from bad to worse.
2- No Happy Crying- This is when you are happy and your cry out of it. Let me ask you to imagine a situation for me, close your eyes (No how would you read then, let them be open). Do not close your eyes but just imagine, the golden stage of Gladrags Man Hunt, the final five contestants on stage, the host comes does an elaborate build up. Then he announces the winner, the 6’7” hulk perfectly shaped muscles, every ounce of pumped Iron showing comes on the stage to be the winner, the crown is placed and he puts his hands on his face below the eyes and starts “Boooo Hoooo I…. Boooo Hooo am so happy..ssss boo I have dreamt booo hooo….for so long sss for this day”. I mean you get the picture, I am not sure but I think you won’t find him sensitive people, as a matter of fact the Gladragz might take the title back from him.
3- No I got Hit Crying- Well I don’t have to explain this, you remember IPL season 1 Harbhajan slapping Sreesanth, and he crying over the national television at prime time. I mean girls don’t tell me you really like Sreesanth because he is all toucy feely, sensitive, emotionally intelligent. As a matter of fact the world respected Sachin Tendulkar who came back to Play for India in WC even after his father expired and didn’t shed a tear just paid his homage through the bat. So if you choose Sreesanth you know I don’t really care, but fact of the matter is even if all the girls in the world are hell bent on tearing him apart to get a piece of him, I would never wanna be the the guy who cried on National TV because he got slapped.
4- No I lost crying- Well, it’s actually very difficult for ambitious men to accept the fact that they lost. But the point is crying is not the way and it is not going to solve anything. The frustration, guilt, anger needs to preserved to go back practice harder and try again. I mean did you really felt good when you saw Roger Fedrer crying on the Wimbledon Final stage. You might have feel sympathetic, bad for him, but did you actually felt nice about him. Did you feel so toughed with him that he is so sensitive that he couldn’t stand losing a title he had held for years. I would say you would be more in love with him when he was all fighting aggressively defeating Rafa with classic tennis shots.

5- No Lovey Dovey Crying- A lot of people really feel that they should cry because they are in love, they got cheated in love, they got dumped in love and basically they are in love. I perfectly agree that love itself is a good enough reason to cry but still, I am born and brought up feeding on Bollywood movies, I have never seen Majnu Crying, Even dharmendra didn’t cried in love when Hema Malini was dancing in front of Gabbar. Basically the hero doesn’t cries, he either dies a hero or he kicks ass. There is no way between that, so I don’t agree to the fact that the guys should cry for love.
So here I rest my case, and girls I understand that you might love the guys who cry. But Actually guys don’t approve of crying and as a matter of fact you love your guy because he is a sissy and cries every now and then but trust me a high probability is that he cries so often because he is in love with you. But don’t worry ask him to read my post and he will be fine.

As the esteemed readers of the Blog would already be aware that yours truly is actually a teetotaler and doesn’t know how the so hyped “high” of an Alcohol feels like. So I actually discussed the same with some of my friends who have their more than fair share of being “delightfully high” almost thrice a week. So based on inputs from them these are the list of 5 things that give a high higher than alcohol and my hangover remedies for it-

1- Killing High- Playing a Video Game like Counter Strike, Quake, Unreal Tournament, Age of Empires, When you are left alone in the team still you go all the way to win the game, killing everyone else. The feeling that gives rise to surge of adrenalin can only been understood by the people who can spend days playing the game without getting bored out of it.

Hangover Remedy- Mom shouting with the Hitler v 6.0 look on her face to have a bath (immediate relief guaranteed)

2- Speeding High- You are on a road driving, a sonofab***h cuts you off and goes away. That’s a moment of an ultimate high. You sit straight, the eyes narrow revaluating the distances. Gear comes down by two unit, the foot presses on the accelerator, the RPM and speedometer pick up from the slumber. The distance decreasing, 900m, 800m,…100m Finally you cut him off, giving him a finger with your arrogant and spoilt look in a glance and then speed away. What a high! This kind of high also can come through the first time exposure to entities like Transporter, Fast & Furious, Top gun, Death Race & Dhoom.

Hangover Remedy: Sister, Girlfriend, Wife or female friends sitting on the non driving seat. Or the guy who cut you off had a BMW and you were driving a Honda City.

3- Anticipated High- When you out on a date with someone who you really think is absolutely hot. Halfway through the date you realize you have hit on well and your date is already consumed four shots of Tequila. That’s when you get high in anticipation of how lucky you are going to get tonight. For females it generally works other way round, The date should be prefect and the guy just had a glass of vodka wine.

Hangover Remedy: The number of shots shoots to 6 and the date gets all dizzy anticipating she might puke.

4- Lovingly High- The first one year when you are in love with someone and that someone loves you back is a period of an unmatched high. I mean the high lasts longer than that if you can force manage yourself to love the same person over an extended period of time. This is a very dangerous kind of high, can make you behave erratically and over consumption might lead to untimely death. Case in Point: Heer-Ranjha, Laila Manjnu, Romeo-Juliet etc etc. So bottomline is consume with caution.

Hangover Remedies: Lover’s khadus baap, positive pregnancy tests, presence of the other in life and most effective one- Marriage.

5- Chocolaty High- This is one of the easy obtainable high, You go to a nice place order a Sizzling Chocolate Walnut Brownie (You can also order Chocolate Avalanche @ Mochas). The people will bring you an amazing post of a deliciously sweet cake made of amazing walnuts and chocolate. Which would be mounted (not for dry humping you perverts) by a large scoop of vanilla ice cream and a cup full of chocolate sauce poured over the entire thing. And this served on a sizzling plate. Man you reach the seventh heaven.

Hangover Remedy- Well the only remedy which can work on this high is, keep the bill of the expensive Gym you have joined in your pocket and see it before you order and while you eat. Though this is not a sure shot remedy works otherwise for me I tend to order another piece thinking “Isiliye to Gym kar rahe hai ki aur kha sake”

So these are the things that give me a high higher than the Alcohol. The topic of the post was suggested to me by a very dearie friend, and coincidentally its her birthday today “Many happy returns of the day to you”.

I was thinking of posting on some other topic, but then someone on twitter actually posted a link of this site. My instant reaction was “What the F**K”. For the People who haven’t opened the site, The site is called Mom Sourcing, the homepage goes like this-

“You know you should call your mom on Mother’s Day. But in today’s fast paced world, work, hobbies and “me time” it can be hard to squeeze in.”

I mean who would have actually thought this kind of an idea. They actually have a sample call on their site. The sample call goes like this-

“Hello,

May I please speak with Lauren

Mom, This is your child Michael. I am calling to wish you a happy mother's day. You have always been there for me and I love you very much. I hope today is magical and full of enjoyment.

Your Confirmation number is 4444444”

* The text in bracket is conversation from the Listener (supposedly the Mother)

So let me get this straight the idea is that idea is your customer is some smartass doesn’t has 30 seconds of time in his 24 hours to make a call to a person who gave birth to him. So that very much defines his love, attachment, commitment, relationship, emotions towards his mother and you expect him to pay you to call on his behalf. Did I hear a yes, well hilarious, I feel choked with your optimism.

Then your proposition is that someone in a foreign accent and different voice would call the customer’s mothers as the person. Now let me get this straight a mother who can identify her baby’s voice by howling which is not even a perfect English syllable. You expect her to believe that the voice is her child’s. And to ensure there are no stone unturned in making the mother believe that this is her son, you give out a confirmation number. Oh yes I do it every time when I speak with my mom and I am sure this is the practice from standard protocol of calling your mom, “Rule # 11 (Std Protocol for Calling Mom)- Always leave the confirmation code when you end the call, lest she forgets if really her son called or she was dreaming”

My heart goes out for all the mothers who would actually get the calls from the service, the thought this message drives along “Excuse me ma’am your child was too busy to spare 30 seconds to wish you a Mother’s day, but yeah he is doing well he had enough money to outsource us the work of calling you. Happy Mother’s Day”

Mother’s day I feel is a huge marketing gimmick, but still essence is to love the woman who actually brought you in this world, respect her for what she is and what she has done for you, reach out to her a step more than you usually do, communicate that you do miss her and feel connected to her. Mother’s day is a festival, a day to celebrate emotions, most important woman in your life. It’s not a duty or liability or a fashion statement which you can boast in your friend circle. The above service would have been awesome if it would have been positioned as to support you to wish your mom by playing specialized messages (aka greeting cards) or singing custom made jingles but not by outsourcing your “work” of calling your mother. If you really think it is work, then I guess you shouldn’t be calling her.

And actually If I tried this service on my Mom, I am in for a 2 hour lecture. One hour on respect for elders and appreciating people in my life and second one on why am I squandering on an outsourcing service to wish her Mother’s Day.

On a lighter note “Happy Mother’s Day” to all the woman in the world who have blessed this world with the Human race. Hope you have a great year ahead and yes you don’t need a confirmation number telling you that you have been an awesome mother for your child.

So as evident from my last post actually two of my close friends have decided to get married. So I am writing this detailed post about one of them. Well both of them deserve a very special mention in my life.

I thought of writing the detailed post about both of them but there is hardly anything to write about Vicky and Shriya. They meet, they fall in love, they remain in love, they get married, and they live happily ever after. Trust me theirs have been a perfect love story, you know one of the perfect made for each other couple I know.

Now comes the second one, on her specific request order threat, I have been asked not to reveal her identity, I mean I still can but not if I want to live remaining days of my life. So basically this friend of mine she is a lady of strong convictions. The primary reason she is my friend would be that she loves her laptop more than all her boyfriend(s). So being one of the biggest Business+IT geeks I know around, I am charting out how probably here decision to marry would have been executed.

Symptoms- Lonely Soul, Random Weekends with nothing substantial to do, Dissatisfied stakeholders (read Mom, Dad and extended family), irregular no sex.

Internal Consultants-Aforementioned Stakeholders

External Consultants- Close friends (including me, at least till now)

Problem Statement- Absence of long term personal vision

Solution from the Consultants- Get married

Time Frame for implementation of solution- 2 Years

RFI floated- Interested vendors putting in their claims and portraying their eligibility. Including their strength in the market (read muscles/body building), financial position to execute the contract (read flaunting money), domain expertise (read learning and testimonies from ex-girlfriends on how good in bed) and intellectual capital

RFP- The guys fighting it out amongst themselves to position themselves a suitable match aka Rakhi Sawant’s much talked about svaiyamvar. Finally when the RFP process is over the appropriate vendor (read bgroom is selected)

Requirements Gathering & Fit-Gap- Now the dearie friend and the would be in waiting do a requirement analysis and identify where the process changes required. Now the process gets funny The client keeps having funny requirements which are finally signed off by all the stakeholders.

Go-Live- Now this what would be the marriage.

Post Go-Live Support- lets not talk about it here. :-)

Ps. If I am found missing or absconding after this post. Please read an obituary for me.