Guys Don't Cry - Part II

Monday, June 01, 2009

Well as most of you would have read my take on guys & crying here already. Recently Reema wrote back supporting her view point. Well her take is quite interesting. So I am adding a few clarifications and elaborate my point of view.

So let’s first narrow our view only to the emotional tears and Reema’s reason for the guys should actually cry.

1- Well Ancient Greeks Did it- Well firstly I don’t agree that since Ancient Greeks did it so should everyone in the world. Well it would be like saying that Ancient Indians used to burn their women after the death of the husbands and we should keep doing it. Well that’s pointless. Now coming to the second part that why did actually the males in Greece cried. Well the history suggests that Greece is one of the oldest land where male homosexuality in more common words being gay was socially accepted So between men and their relationship there had to be a role player of a woman, which kind of quite indicates about the crying men was a part of society and was accepted culturally.

2- Mangnese Content- Well another point which has been pointed is that Tears help release manganese content out of the body which helps control temperament. Well manganese has a lot of other benefits like formation of hormones which combat infection, assists in the protein build up, helps prevent failing memory and also builds thyroxin for the body. Now one good reason to flush the manganese out of the body?? Anyone?

3- Prolactin – Well supposedly this is something which regulates production in the body. Now coming back to guys crying, if a guy is producing milk through his body the situation is highly abnormal and for most of the reasons will be a disease called galactorrhea and trust me as in all other cases the crying won’t help here either. I am sure you get the point.

4- Emotional Intelligence- Well now let me get this thing clear emotional intelligence has got nothing to do with crying its more about understanding and ability to perceive emotions and use them as a data points and information for effective leadership and decision making. Now a guy who cry on everything doesn’t has more EQ as compared to someone who doesn’t. You know in a similar way that fear of change is an emotion and a person who understands what it is and can use his understanding has more EQ as compared to someone who himself is afraid of change. Similarly in case of crying, a person needs to be able to relate and understand the reason and emotion behind crying, which for most part is grief rather than crying.

5- My Friends say so- Well that is simply not a reason. A lot of my friends have a belief and they would swear by it but one cannot simply generalize it to the entire society. For example, a group of friends who think Marijuana is cool doesn’t reflect the perspective of the entire society and neither makes it correct. So what your friends think is a set of personalized opinion just like I have mine that Guys should not cry. Since we actually friend or connect with likeminded people there is a higher probability of bias in the sample you are conducting the survey with. Definitely you cannot generalize this opinion.

6- Some examples for great men who cried- Well for every great men who cried there would be a 100 others who didn’t. The point is the men were not great because they cried, nor were they respected for this. They are respected for what they are and what they have done in their life.

Now coming back to some tit-bits on my part, I am not saying that it is a sin for guys to cry. My point is that crying does not make them sensitive or caring or good. As a matter of fact, as we have discussed the Sreesanth’s episode of crying, so if I assume that he would be a sensitive guy as many people have suggested, we should look at his statement about a struggling actress that he would not date a struggling actor he would go for a seasoned one. Well if that was really a sensitive guy speaking, I am sorry my definition of sensitivity is all haywire.

There is nothing wrong or right about crying, its not even an emotion. Its an expression of an emotion, and I totally agree that guys can and should be receptive to all kinds of emotions but the expression of emotions by a special form doesn’t make them any superior in any ways. If at all it can do anything it would portray a weak image of them, when the society and biology expects them to be strong (well if you don’t agree to my biologically part then please before arguing back try and talk to the International Olympics Committee and ask why do they have separate events for male and females) .