Ginger & Cardamom

I have thing for meeting and interacting with new people. Generally, I found the fairer sex getting a wrong perception of me. So here I produce 5 pointers that a female interacting me should keep in mind and correct her perception of yours truly. So here my narcissist self goes-

1- I am not sweet and I am not cute- I don’t know why but Sweet & Cute, these are the two adjectives which I so often hear from females about me. Now listen you people I am not sweet and I am not cute at all. As matter of fact I hate these adjectives, why on this earth you would call a guy “cute”. I am not the pug which used to feature in Hutch advertisements. All I am is polite and courteous, so if you are taking this cute and sweet please be aware that you are going to find me rude and arrogant when I think a matter is not of being polite but being direct. So next time you think I am sweet kinds, please re-align your thoughts.

2- I am a listener not an Agony Aunt- If you tell me about a problem and just want me to listen, you might get some advice if you want it. I am a good listener and a practical analyzer of things and situation. But after that, I generally don’t have too much to say on the topic and I expect you to act, if you found the advice practical or relevant. So if you are telling me things again without some rocket science discovery addendum to it, my opinions would not change. And if you think I am enjoying hearing the story how your boyfriend dumped you again for the 5th time, please let it be known I am not interested. If you didn’t get my advice in the first or second time please let it be known my views are, “For the 5th Time!!!! You deserved it, and no matter what I say right now I am sure he would be sleeping in your pants tomorrow morning and dumping you by afternoon.” (I might not say it loudly just to be polite but that’s how it is)

3- I have respect for women but I hate Feminists- I have immense respect for women what they are, for the contribution different women had in shaping my life, which includes my mom, teachers, friends, sisters, ex-girl friend. Everyone has been pivotal in shaping a part of me and I respect them for that and in general for women. I don’t like when Muthaliks of the world beat the women in Mangalore, or Jessica Lal or some girl in an unknown village gets raped/killed, and I actually get very agitated and pissed by it. But for the feminists of the world I have no sympathy points for your “All men are B*****DS” theory because of the fact is that your sick theory makes “All the Women SL*TS”. I have never met a women in my life who did not like being treated with respect and simultaneously being taken care of. So why don’t you keep your feminist theories to yourself and just be normal when you are with me.

4- I do admire hot girls passing by- Yes, I do that and pretty often too. I admire hot & good looking girls including their face, body, clothes, attitude and personality. What I don’t do is pass sleazy comments or follow them back. I just notice them and appreciate the care they take of themselves. Well if you have a problem with it you can’t do too much about it. I think it’s similar to admiring any natural/artificial beauty. I admire TajMahal, I admire machines like bikes, cars, and computer gear, I admire buildings and monuments, I admire girls in the same way. You know, if I know you then may be I can give you feedback/compliments but that’s it . So if you think you have a problem or Moral issues talking to a guy like this then I have just one line advice to you, “To each his own, Thanks a lot”

5- The sexy conversation- Now if the response in the back of your mind is something like this-
Me: Hey, how you doing?
You: Fine. (He is trying to sleep with me)

Me: Hey have you seen latest episode of How I Met Your Mother? You know Barney Slept with Robin?
You: Oh really, I missed that one. (He is trying to sleep with me)

Me: I really had a bad day at office. Wish this recession gets over pretty fast.
You: What happened?? (He is trying to sleep with me)

So I am sure by above specimen you would be thoroughly aware what I am talking about. So if you have this kinds of vibes at the back of your mind, I advise you that you should not be having any conversation with such kind of a guy who is trying to do this to you. Stop talking to him immediately!!! If you do not follow the advice and I get a hint of the voices in your head. I would make sure it follows.
And the simple reason is, your impression about me is derogatory and false for my self-image and you being around is waste of time. So please find someone else to waste and his time, as I am already short of it. And yes you heard it right, I am that selfish.