Deadly Dialogues

Sunday, August 17, 2008

This is a very long post, perhaps the longg=est ever on my blog. So be careful before you go ahead and start reading it.
When actually wrote down the draft it was only supposed to be a post, but now somehow I feel that I should forward it as a tag and find out about other peoples preferences when it comes to the dialogues. So defining the rules of the tag-
1- Jot down the dialogue (or sequence of dialogues) from the movies which you can watch again and again (minimum 5 sequences )
2- If you can find out the video link for the same scene or dialogue provide the same.
3-Tag other people you know are into movies and would remember dialogues.

So here are 7 of my favorite dialogues which I can watch again and again. There might be some omissions or a slip of words or two as I couldn’t remember them all word by word. Rewriting from whatever I could remember and appologies for spelling mistakes which I know would be many but too impaitent for a spell check when half the post is in Hindi.

1- Hum Tum-

Riya: Yes, Karan
Karan: Hi Riya
Riya: Don’t Hi Riya me, Okay!
Karan: Naraz ho
Riya: hmmm
Karan: Theek hai main wapas ghar chala jaata hoon
Riya: what??
Karan: main wapas ghar chala jaata hoon
Riya: Ummm??
Karan: main tumhare ghar ke bhara hoon. (Riya Opens the door) Bahut bhook lagi hai khane ko kuch milega
Riya: it’s so nice to be back in India, Mumma theek kehti hai Apna desh to apna hi hota hai
Karan: Tumse kisne kaha tha paris main jaa kar rehne ko. I am sorry Riya I didn’t meant that.
Riya: No No No don’t be sorry, Karan baat aisi thi ki main India main rehti to Mumma aur mere rishtedaar meri dubara shaadi karne ki baat karte rehte aur sameer ke jaane ke baad mera in sab baton par se man uth cuka tha. Kisi ke jaane ke baad bhi pyaar thode na kam ho jaata hai. Sameer ka pyar mere saath hamesha rahega. I will always love him.
Karan: Ya, I can understand that but iska matlab yeh to nahi ki tum apni zindagi fir se shuru nahi kar sakti. I mean you can’t stop living.
Riya: Haan but apni zindagi fir se shuru karne ke liya sahi saathi ka milna bahut zarrori hai. Jo chai ki tray pakadne se nahi milne wala.
Karan: Haan aur agar mil bhi jaye to
Riya: What rubbish
Karan: No come on yaar. Main bahugt manta hoon arranged marriages; I am a big believer in arranged marriages. I am serious yaar . Hum pretend karte hai ki hum yahan arranged marriage ki mulakat ke liye aaye hai
Riya: Kyon nahi, Subah ke 2 baje hum pretend karte hai
Karan: Hello Riya, mera naam champak bhumiya hai tumhari mausi ki bhanji ki beti ki saheli tumhari bahut taareef karti hai. Usne kaha ki hum ek dusre ke liye perfect hai; ek duje ke liye Riya.
Riya: Why not!!!
Karan: Come on man Riya, Don’t be a close. Chalo am not champak bhumiya. Genuinely koi smart sa aadmi tumse pooche paris main itne saal akele rehne ke baad tum Bombay main mere saath adjust kar paogi.
Riya: Sandwitch
Karan: Thank You Riya come one. Sit down
Riya: Come on karan it is not funny.
Karan: It is funny it is FUN. Remember FUN. Come on!
Riya (Laughs ): Ok. Tum kya pooch rahe the?
Karan: Paris main itne saal rehne ke baad kyat um Bombay main mere saath adjust kar paogi.
Riya: Sheher ke saath adjust karne se jyada zaroori hai logon ke saath adjust karna aur do log yadi apas main khush hai to Bombay ho ya Paris kya farak padta hai.
Karan: 10 on 10 that’s a perfect answer. Aur shaadi ke baad tum kaam bhi karogi?
Riya: Kyon tum nahi chahte ki main shaadi ke baad kaam karoon
Karan: Nahi Nahi yaar I think it is great. Mujhe lagta hai har aurat ko kaam karna chahiye aur sirf time pass ke liye nahi balki seriously tumhari tarah.
Riya: Now That’s a perfect answer 10 on 10
Karan: Thank you. Aur bachon ke bare main kya khayal hai?
Riya: Kya bachon ke baare main?
Karan: Nahi nahi tum nahi. Tum mujhse nahi poochne wali ki kya mujhe bache pasand hai ya…
Riya: Haan Haan to kya tumhe bache pasand hai
Karan: Behad, Mujhe sabse pehle ek ladki chahiye beautiful and intelligent tumhari tarah. Main bahut acha daddy banoonga aur mere jaisa koi bhi ladka uske saamne aayega to uski taange tod doonga Haramzada.
Riya: Aur tumhe aisa lagta hai kit um aisa karoge to ek ache pita kehlaoge
Karan: Dekho tum itni achi maa hogi ki main agar bachon ko thoda bigaad bhi doon to kya farak padta hai.
Riya: Acha saari mehnat main karoona ur saare maze tum luto.
Karan: Haan meri nazar se dekho to kamaal ki shaadi hai humari. Bas is family photo ko complete karne ke liye humein ek chota sa kutta rakhna chahiye.
Riya: Aur hum usko tommy bulayenge
Karan: Kafi bakwaas sa naam hai. Acha theek hai tommy. lekin ek shart par, Tommy ki sair ki zimmedari tumhari hai, main yeh sab nahi kar sakta.
Riya: Done
Karan: Main sirf use khane ki table par baith kar apni plate se haddiyan khilaoonga le tommmy kha le tommy kha. That’s all I am gonna do.
Riya: To shaadi ke baad tum bache aur tommy ko bigaadne ke alawa kya karoge?
Karan: Aur karne ko hai hi kya main bas maze se aram se apni zindagi jiyoonga apne bache aur tommy ke saath….. aur haan tumhare saath bhi! Sorry!
Riya: To main bache aur tommy ke baad aati hoon
Karan: No no that was a mistake, tumhare saath
Riya: To main bache aur tommy ke baad aati hoon
Karan: No Riya that was…. I am sorry
Riya: Agar tumne mera naam bache aur tommy ke baad liya to main tumhare chote chote chote chote tukde kar ke usi tommy ko khila doongi
Karan: Acha baba acha I am sorry aaj ke baat bache aur tommy baad main sabse jyada tumhe pyaar karoonga.




2- Dil Chahta Hai

Sameer: Oh my god! Main Priya ko phone karna bhool gaya She is gonna kill me
Sid: Tu Priya se itna darta kyon hai
Sameer: Yaar main us se darta nahi hoon I love her aur main use dukh nahi pahunchana chata use khon nahi chata main
Aakash: Sameer, meri samajh main yeh nahi aata tu use bardasht kaise karta hai girlfriend kam aur boss jyada lagti hai
Sameer: Aakash is waqt mujhe tumhari Vishesh Tippani ki nahi tumhar madad ki zaroorat hai. Kya karoon ab.
Sid: Tujhe kya lagta hai
Aakash: Main batata hoon to use phone laga aur maafi maang aur use bol kit u aakash se fir kabhi nahi milega.
Sameer: Shut up man aakash tu janta hai main aisa nahi karoonga
Aakash: Kahin use dukh na pahunche kahin tu use kho na de. Ha ha ha Christ.
Sameer: Tu kabhi nahi sudharega na. Sameer tu itni si baat ko itna serious kyon bana raha hai. Just relax….Relax use phone laga baat kar sab theek ho jayega. Ok.
Sameer: Hiie Pri…ya
Sameer: Haan main
Sameer: Magar vo
Sameer: Suno to
Sameer: Tumne to
Sameer: Lekin main
Sameer: Kab se keh
…….
…….
Sameer:Main aakash ke yahan
Sameer: Hellllo!!!


3- Top Gun-
Viper: Gentleman you are the top 1% of all naval aviators, the elite, best of the best We will make you better. Fly at least two combat missions a day 10 classes in between, evaluation of your performance. Now at each combat sequence you will meet a different challenge, every encounter will be much more dangerous. We will teach you to ride the F14 to the edge of the envelope faster than you have ever flown before and more dangerous. We don’t make policies here, gentleman elected officials civilians do that we are instilments of the policy. Although we are not at war we must act as if we are at war.
Goose: When are you doing
Maverick: Just wondering who is the best?

Viper: Do some of you wonder who the best is, they are up here on this plaque on the wall. The best driver and his RIO from each class has his name on it and they have option to be instructors here at Top Gun. So you think your name is gonna be here?
Maverick: Yes Sir
Viper: That’s pretty arrogant considering the company you are in
Maverick (Pause): Yes Sir
Viper: I like that in a pilot. Remember when its over out there we are all in the same team.


4- Sholay-

Mausi: Ghar main jawan beti pathar ki sil ki tarah hoti hai
Jai: Sach kaha mausi aapne bada bojh hai aap pe
Mausi: Lekin beta is bojh ko koi kuen main to fenk nahi deta. Bura nahi manna lekin itna to poochna hi padta hai ki ldka karta kya hai, ladke ka khandan kya hai, uske lachan kaise hai, kamata kitna hai
Jai: Kamane ka to yeh hai mausi ki ek baar biwi bachon ki zimmedaari sir pea a gayi to kamane bhi lagega
Mausi: To kya abhi kuch bhi nahi kamata.
Jai: Nahi nahi yeh maine kab kaha mausi. Kamata hai, lekin roz roz to aadmi jeet nahi sakta na, kabhi haar bhi jaata hai bechara
Mausi: Haar jaata hai??
Jai: Haan mausi kambakht jua cheez hi aisi hai ab main kya kahoon.
Mausi: Haiin to kya zuari hai?
Jai: Chi chi chi mausi who aur zuari na na na who to bahut hi acha aur nek ladka hai lekin ek baar sharab pee li na phir ache bure ka kahan hosh rehta hai. Haath pakad kar bitha liya kisi ne jua khelne ab isme bechare Veeru ka kya dosh hai
Mausi: Theek kehte ho beta Zuari who, Sharabi Woh, lekin usme uska koi dosh nahi.
Jai: Mausi aap to mere dost ko galat samajh rahi hai, Wo to itna seedha aur bhola hai. Basanti se uski shaadi kar ke to dekhiye Jue aur sharab ki aadat do din main choot jayegi.
Mausi: Are beta mujh budhiya ko samjha rahe ho, yeh sharab aur jue ki aadat kisi ki chooti hai aaj tak.
Jai: Mausi aap Veeru ko nahi janti vishwas kijiye who is tarah ka insaan nahi hai. Ek baar shaadi ho gayi to who us gaane wali ke ghar jaana band kar dega bas. Sharab apane aap chooth jayegi.
Mausi: Hai!!! Bas yehi ek kami reh gayi thi to kya kisi gane wali ke ghar bhi aana jaana hai.
Jai: To usme kaun si buri baat hai mausi gaana sun ne to Raja Maharaja aur unche unche khandan ke log jaate hai
Mausi: To beta ye bhi batate jao ki tumhare yeh gunwan dost kis khandan ke hai
Jai: Bas mausi khandan ka pata chalet hi hum aapko khabar de denge
Mausi: Ek baat ki daad doongi beta bhale 100 buraiyan ho tumhare dost main tumhare muh se uske liye tareef hi nikalti hai.
Jai: Ab kya karoon mausi mera to dil hi kuch aisa hai. To main yeh rishta pakka samjhoo

5- Notting Hill-
ANNA: What's in there?
WILLIAM: Gardens. All these streets round here have these mysterious communal gardens in the middle of them. They're like little villages.
ANNA: Let's go in.
WILLIAM: Ah no -- that's the point -- they're private villages -- only the people who live round the edges are allowed in.
ANNA: You abide by rules like that?
WILLIAM: Ahm..Heck no -- other people do -- but not me -- I just do what I want.
WILLIAM (casually): Whoopsidaisies.

ANNA: What did you say?
WILLIAM: Nothing.
ANNA: Yes, you did.
WILLIAM: No, I didn't.
ANNA: You said 'whoopsidaisies.'
WILLIAM: I don't think so. No one has said 'whoopsidaisies,' do they -- I mean unless they're...
ANNA: There's no 'unless.' No one has said "whoopsidaisies" for fifty years and even then it was only little girls with blonde ringlets.
WILLIAM: Exactly. Here we go again.
WILLIAM: Whoopsidaisies.
WILLIAM: It's a disease I've got -- it's a clinical thing. I'm taking pills and having injections -- it won't last long.
ANNA: Step aside.
WILLIAM: Actually be careful Anna -- it's harder than it looks...
WILLIAM: Oh no it's not -- it's easy.
ANNA: Come on, Flops.
WILLIAM: Now seriously -- what in the world in this garden could make that ordeal worthwhile?
She leans forward -- and, she kisses him. (pause)
WILLIAM: Nice garden.
ANNA: 'For June, who loved this garden from Joseph who always sat beside her.' Some people do spend their whole lives together.

6- Guru-

Gurukant Desai: Khada ho jaoon ya iske liye bhi license chahiye. Aap kehte hai main kanoon ke khilaaf hoon. 40 saal pehle ek aur aadmi tha jo kanoon ke khilaaf tha, aaj hum unko Bapu kehte hai. Unke waqt main gulami kanoon tha, unhone naya kanoon banaya humari azadi ka kanoon. Main bapu nahi hoon main bas apna dhanda karna janta hoon, mehnat janta hoon garibi janta hoon.


Do kameez ek biwi aur ek saale le kar Bombay aaya tha socha tha business karoonga. Yahan pahuncha to dekha ki dhande karne ke saare darwaze band the. Who khulte the to sirf ameeron ke liye. Sarkari darwaze the yeh aap ke banaye hue ya to laat mar kar khulte the ya ji hazoori de ke. Maine dono kiya jahan laat mar sakta tha laat maari, jahan bola salaam do maine bola salaam lo. Aaj mujhe yahan khada kar ke aap log yeh kah rahe ki yeh aadmi itni laat kyon marta hai, sala salam bahut karta hai.
Kis baat se naraz hai aap meri tarakki se ya meri trakki ki tezi se ya isliye sab gaussa hai ki ek mamooli ganwar ki had se aagey chala gaya hoon main
Aapne ilzaam lagaya hai na mujhe par excise, custom, income tax ye tax who tax.jab dhanda maine shuru kiya tha In sab shabdon ka matlab nahi janta tha kai baar gira hoon tab jaa kar seekha hoon. Paise bachane ke liye Payedhooni se 20-20 km chala hoon Kelasilk ka ye bada gadda sar pe dho ke. Paise ki keemat kya hoti hai main janta hoon, agar paisa ban sakta tha to maine banaya hai lekin sirf apne liye nahi apne 30 lakh shareholders ke liye bhi.
Aapke kuch 3 minute baaki hai
Mere ko yeh golf khelna nahi aata, ye ghode ki race bhi nahi khelta hoon lekin apne dhande ka mazboot khiladi hoon main. Polyster banana janta hoon fibre, chemical wo bhi A1 quality ka sabse saste daam main. Yeh hai meri galti is liye maafi mangoon aap se………….Petrol pump attendant tha main dabbe le ke ghoomta hai jaise apna desh haath faila ke ghoomta hai world bank ke aagey paise de do sadak banana hai. Kyon na badle kismet humari humari aur humare desh ki, aap chahte hai main humesha petrol pump attendant rahoon. Humein kyon teesri duniya bulaya jaata hai humein bhi haq hai pehli duniya ban ne ka aur hum ban sakte hai. Hum wahan pahunch sakte hai who upar top tak.
Yahan tak pahunchne ke liye bahut kuch khoya hai maine yeh haath khoye hai maine latka rehta hai sala. Aur jab tak yeh enquiry khatam hogi na jaane kya kya kho doonga main apni awaz, apna dimaag. Lekin ek cheez aap mujhse nahi cheen paoge who hai meri himmat, who nahi khoonga main. Kyone ki meri himaat aam aadmi ki himmat hai, Is desh ki himmat hai. Arey is desh ki tarakki par kaunsi enquiry bithayenge aap aur humein kaun si enquiry rok payegi.
Aap ne mujhe 5 minute diya than a sadhe 4 minute main sab khatam kar diya. 30 second munafa yahi hota hai business aur agar iske liye bhi aap mujhe sazaa sena chahe to de dijiye Gurukant Desai saza se nahi darta.


7- Thank you for Smoking-
Joey: So, what happens when you're wrong?
Nick: Well, Joey, I'm never wrong.
Joey: But you can't always be right.
Nick: Well, if it's your job to be right, then you're never wrong.
Joey: But what if you are wrong?
Nick: Okay, let's say that you're defending chocolate and I'm defending vanilla. Now, if I were to say to you, "Vanilla's the best flavor ice cream", you'd say …?
Joey: "No, chocolate is."
Nick: Exactly. But you can't win that argument. So, I'll ask you: So you think chocolate is the end-all and be-all of ice cream, do you?
Joey: It's the best ice cream; I wouldn't order any other.
Nick: Oh. So it's all chocolate for you, is it?
Joey: Yes, chocolate is all I need.
Nick: Well, I need more than chocolate. And for that matter, I need more than vanilla. I believe that we need freedom and choice when it comes to our ice cream, and that, Joey Naylor, that is the definition of liberty.
Joey: But that's not what we're talking about.
Nick: Ah, but that's what I'm talking about.
Joey: But … you didn't prove that vanilla's the best.
Nick: I didn't have to. I proved that you're wrong, and if you're wrong, I'm right.
Joey: But you still didn't convince me.
Nick: Because I'm not after you. I'm after them.


This being the 100th post on this blog. I hereby tag the Sheeeeeeeeesh Company fame Bartender Bhai. Movies related post hai, can't wait to hear from you.
Secondly to wake up I hereby tag lil Miss Sunshine. Sunshineji jaago we are sick and tired of clouds over your blog come out of the sleep.

Posted by Prats at 2:54 PM