Ginger & Cardamom

This is a confessional post, I visited a restaurant yesterday. I was on my worst behaviour yesterday. There were a lot of mistakes done by the people and initially I lost my temper. After a series of errors, I was rude and inconsiderate towards the staff of the restaurants. I behaved like a spoilt arrogant brat. I don't know if it is true but I believe I was enjoying humiliating the people in front of me. I am not sure if they will be reading this post ever. But I just want to say I am sorry, this will never happen again!!!!!

Here I mention my obsessions, people who know me would already know how crazy I am about these-

1- Sun Glasses- Well I don't know what's between me and them but you know the sunglasses those red and green coloured which you saw on the display window "Yeh kaun pehan sakta hai". Yes I am that guy, somehow all the sunglasses are meant to fit my face. So I generally keep these killer eyes undercover.

2- Computers- Since the days we need a 5'.25" Floppy to boot the system and another floppy to load Gwbasic and then another floppy to keep our programs. I have been a computer geek. I have seen the era where a Floppy used to come for 50 bucks which was 1.44 MB to the DVDs in 15 bucks with 8.3 GB storage. My journey has been marked by 5 different computers and I have loved them every bit.

3- Books- I actually started late from most of my peers who had a reading habit. I started in 2001 but since then reading has been my favorite past time. I have read and bought so many books that every time I go home I get a lecture from my Mom to arrange all the 250 books personal library I have managed to acquire and read. I have these weird quirk that when I finish a book i say i will read this again. But this actually never happens.

4- Writing- I started writing in fourth standard in the creative writing workshop I had, and wrote a seriously silly poem-

There was a cat chasing mice
It bit her not once but thrice
but the cat was brave she did not cried
but started chasing the mice.

(yes I was an early starter for Tom & Jerry)
and my English teacher Mrs. John appreciated me a lot (She taught us AA rhyming scheme in the workshop and this poem was a result of that) and since then I have been torturing people with my writing.

5- Coffee- I have always hated all kind of drinks which are served hot but somehow I fell in instant love with coffee. After coming to Pune Barista was like a dream come true and for the next two years my attendance at Barista was way higher than the attendance at my college. The love with coffee and Barista is still on and a late night coffee has become an obsession.

I was Tagged by Kool not so sKooly and a proud owner of Korean chappals Trinaaaaaaa (Too many K's I am turning to Ekta Kapur or what!!!), so madame here I go

The rules:
1. Put Your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!!
After you've answered all of the questions, tag other people and then let them know that they have been tagged.



- IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?

Yeh Dil Sun raha hai tere dil ki zubaan, Aie mere humnasheen main wahan tu jahan
My Response: Jeeeez No I just don’t listen I respond also


- WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Zindagi ke Safar main guzar jaate hai jo Muqaam, Wo fir nahi aate.
My Response: Damnit, I am not any Friggin’ Guzzraa hua muqam or makaan…

- WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL ?
It’s amazing how you can speak right to my heart,
Without saying a world you can light up the dark
Try as I may I can never explain,
What I hear when you don’t say a thing
The smile on your face lets me know that u need m e
There is truth in your eyes saying you’ll never leave me
The touch of your hands says you will catch me whenever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all!!!
My Response: Bingo!!! The chemistry as described.


-HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Main Aisa kyon hoon, main aisa kyon hoon
Main jaisa hoon waisa kyon hoon,
Karna hai kya hai mujhko yeh maine kab hai jaana,
Lagta hai gaoonga main zindagi bhar bas yeh gaana
Hoga mera jaane ab kya oh hooo Koi bataye oh hooo
Gadbad hai yeh sab kya oh hooo Koi samjhaye oh hooo
My Response: So true for my ever absconding soul.


- WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom let it be
In My hours of darkness she is standing by side of me
Whispering words of wisdom Let it be.
My Response: For now Let it be!!!!!!


- WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Meri Duniya hai Tujhme kahin
Tere bin main kya main kya
Meri jaan main teri jaan hai
O saathi mere….
My Response: After being spoilt rotten by all my friends this seem to be so true. Love you Sumeet, Pravs, Wags, Vikki, Bhatia, Vishay, Reens, Neha, Shantanu, Ankit, Prince, Adi, Ruchi, Shwets, Kavs, Alee. Thanks for this awesome song.

- WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Kuch Khushbuein Yaadon ke jungle se bah chali
Kuch khidkiyaan lamho ki dastak par khul gayi
JKuch geet purane rakhte te sirhane
Kuch sur kahin khoye the, bandish mil gayi
Jeene ke ishare mil gaye; Bichade the Kinare mil gaye
My Response: Miss you Mom & Dad!!!! you rock


-WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Main jahan rahoon Main kahin bhi hoon,
Teri yaad saath hai
Kisi se kahoon ke nahi kahoon ye jo dil ki baat hai
Kehne ko saath apne ek duniya chalti
Par chupke is dil main tanhai palti hai
Bas yaad saath hai, Teri yaad saath hai
My Response: Yep I know the feeling!!!

-WHAT IS 2+2?
Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand Hold it tight

I will protect you
from all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small,
you seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always
My Response: Not yet!!!


- WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Is tarah asiqui ka asar chod jaoonga
Tere chehre par apni nazar chod jaoonga
My Response: Yuck!!! I am straight very Straight…No ashiqui with males and I DON’T HIT ON MY FRIENDS!!!!!


- WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Walk away if you want to it’s okay if you need to
You can run, But you can never hide
From the shadow that’s creeping up beside you
There is a magic running through your soul
That you can’t have it all
Whatever you do I’ll be two steps behind you
Wherever you go I’ll be there to remind you
It takes a minute of your precious time, Turnaround
I’ll be two steps behind.
My Response: not for the person I like, May be for that one special might be true but still I DO NOT STALK. NO I AM NOT A STALKER.

- WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Hello.
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?

Come on, now.
I hear youre feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.

Relax.
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts:
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I cant explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

My Response: This is getting too much no I am not comfortably numb!!!

- WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
There's things that you guess
And things that you know
There's boys you can trust
And girls that you don't
There's little things you hide
And little things that you show
Sometimes you think you're gonna get it
But you don't and that's just the way it goes

I swear i won't tease you
Won't tell you no lies
I don't need no bible
Just look in my eyes
I've waited so long baby
Now that we're friends
Every man's got his patience
And here's where mine ends

I want your sex
I want you
I want your sex
My Response: For fun it’s okay but not as a profession!!!!



- WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Chalo tumko le kar chalein, Hum in Fizaaon mein
Jahan mitha nasha hai taaron ki chaon main
Chalo tumko le kar chalien
My Response: and yes leave you there. Yes given the problem child I have always been my parents would have disowned me long ago


- WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
A new day has...come


I was waiting for so long
For a miracle to come
Everyone told me to be strong
Hold on and don't shed a tear


Through the darkness and good times
I knew I'd make it through
And the world thought I had it all
But I was waiting for you
My Response: Hmmm I might quite apt for the occasion I guess


-WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
You are my theme for a dream
Yes you are, a rare and lovely theme
The dreams I dream day and night
That your arms are holding me so tight

When I dream I kiss you
Music fills with starlight
Every time I touch you
Each and every time a chime rings out I love you
Only you for ever more

cause youre my theme for a dream
Yes you are a rare and lovely theme
So, angel please say that you love me too
And make my dreams come true dream
My Response: What to say????



- WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
dil ne jise apna kaha
bekhabar woh hai wahan
jaane par zameen asmaan
mili nazar unse par
thi hayaa darmiyan
baaton mein bhi kahe na saki
dil ki baatein zubaan
ab hai hulchul
pal pal bekal
dhoonde hain unko dil
ke chale zara unke hi manzil
bole raaze dil par
ab woh hai kahan
dil ne jise apna kaha
bekhabar woh hai wahan
jaane par zameen asmaan
khili khile kaise hai raat
milke woh chaand se
door hain hum milke bhi
dekhenge aapse
tim tim jaage aankhon ke taare
unki hi raahon mein
ke yuhni kabhi
unke bhi dil mein jaage mohabbat
aaye woh yahan
dil ne jise apna kaha

My Response: Straight from the heart!! Arrrrrghh!!!!


- WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Yeh hawain julfo main teri gum ho jaye
Choome nigahon se Chehra tera
Hothon se choo le daman tera
Apni panahon main tujhko bhare
Meri aarzoo ko pareshan kare
Yeh Hawayein Zulzo main teri gum ho jayein…
My Response: yes yes that is the biggest secret, the girl being discuss. The only trouble is this secret is not for me but from me.




- WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Na hai yeh pana
Na Khona hi hai
Tera Na hona jane
Kyun hona hi hai

Tum se hi din hota hai
Surmaiye shaam aati
Tumse hi tumse hi

Har ghadi saans aati hai
Zindagi kehlati hai
Tumse hi tumse hi
My Response: Spot on…. You guys make my world!!!


- WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Aaj unse pahli mulaaqaat hogi phir aamne saamne baat hogi
Phir hogaa kyaa, kyaa pataa kyaa Khabar
Andekhaa anjaanaa mukhDaa kaisaa hogaa na
Jaane vo chaand kaa TukDaa kaisaa hogaa
milte hi unse nazar haay dil mein,
ek beqraari si din raat hogi phir hogaa kyaa, kyaa pataa kyaa Khabar
My Response: hmmmm What to say!!!!

-WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS TAG?
I get up in the evening, and I aint got nothing to say
I come home in the morning, I go to bed feeling the same way
I aint nothing but tired, man Im just tired and bored with myself
Hey there baby, I could use just a little help

You cant start a fire, you cant start a fire without a spark
This guns for hire even if were just dancing in the dark

My Response: Indeed I was dancing in the dark about myself…..

And here I tag Vinni & lil miss sunshine......

A blog is like a baby which is very easy to have but difficult to grow. Ginger & Cardamom (G & C) completed 100 posts today. How well it has grown I am not sure, but yes it has given me a feeling of happiness which only a fellow blogger could understand.

May the insanity in the words never die.

This is a very long post, perhaps the longg=est ever on my blog. So be careful before you go ahead and start reading it.
When actually wrote down the draft it was only supposed to be a post, but now somehow I feel that I should forward it as a tag and find out about other peoples preferences when it comes to the dialogues. So defining the rules of the tag-
1- Jot down the dialogue (or sequence of dialogues) from the movies which you can watch again and again (minimum 5 sequences )
2- If you can find out the video link for the same scene or dialogue provide the same.
3-Tag other people you know are into movies and would remember dialogues.

So here are 7 of my favorite dialogues which I can watch again and again. There might be some omissions or a slip of words or two as I couldn’t remember them all word by word. Rewriting from whatever I could remember and appologies for spelling mistakes which I know would be many but too impaitent for a spell check when half the post is in Hindi.

1- Hum Tum-

Riya: Yes, Karan
Karan: Hi Riya
Riya: Don’t Hi Riya me, Okay!
Karan: Naraz ho
Riya: hmmm
Karan: Theek hai main wapas ghar chala jaata hoon
Riya: what??
Karan: main wapas ghar chala jaata hoon
Riya: Ummm??
Karan: main tumhare ghar ke bhara hoon. (Riya Opens the door) Bahut bhook lagi hai khane ko kuch milega
Riya: it’s so nice to be back in India, Mumma theek kehti hai Apna desh to apna hi hota hai
Karan: Tumse kisne kaha tha paris main jaa kar rehne ko. I am sorry Riya I didn’t meant that.
Riya: No No No don’t be sorry, Karan baat aisi thi ki main India main rehti to Mumma aur mere rishtedaar meri dubara shaadi karne ki baat karte rehte aur sameer ke jaane ke baad mera in sab baton par se man uth cuka tha. Kisi ke jaane ke baad bhi pyaar thode na kam ho jaata hai. Sameer ka pyar mere saath hamesha rahega. I will always love him.
Karan: Ya, I can understand that but iska matlab yeh to nahi ki tum apni zindagi fir se shuru nahi kar sakti. I mean you can’t stop living.
Riya: Haan but apni zindagi fir se shuru karne ke liya sahi saathi ka milna bahut zarrori hai. Jo chai ki tray pakadne se nahi milne wala.
Karan: Haan aur agar mil bhi jaye to
Riya: What rubbish
Karan: No come on yaar. Main bahugt manta hoon arranged marriages; I am a big believer in arranged marriages. I am serious yaar . Hum pretend karte hai ki hum yahan arranged marriage ki mulakat ke liye aaye hai
Riya: Kyon nahi, Subah ke 2 baje hum pretend karte hai
Karan: Hello Riya, mera naam champak bhumiya hai tumhari mausi ki bhanji ki beti ki saheli tumhari bahut taareef karti hai. Usne kaha ki hum ek dusre ke liye perfect hai; ek duje ke liye Riya.
Riya: Why not!!!
Karan: Come on man Riya, Don’t be a close. Chalo am not champak bhumiya. Genuinely koi smart sa aadmi tumse pooche paris main itne saal akele rehne ke baad tum Bombay main mere saath adjust kar paogi.
Riya: Sandwitch
Karan: Thank You Riya come one. Sit down
Riya: Come on karan it is not funny.
Karan: It is funny it is FUN. Remember FUN. Come on!
Riya (Laughs ): Ok. Tum kya pooch rahe the?
Karan: Paris main itne saal rehne ke baad kyat um Bombay main mere saath adjust kar paogi.
Riya: Sheher ke saath adjust karne se jyada zaroori hai logon ke saath adjust karna aur do log yadi apas main khush hai to Bombay ho ya Paris kya farak padta hai.
Karan: 10 on 10 that’s a perfect answer. Aur shaadi ke baad tum kaam bhi karogi?
Riya: Kyon tum nahi chahte ki main shaadi ke baad kaam karoon
Karan: Nahi Nahi yaar I think it is great. Mujhe lagta hai har aurat ko kaam karna chahiye aur sirf time pass ke liye nahi balki seriously tumhari tarah.
Riya: Now That’s a perfect answer 10 on 10
Karan: Thank you. Aur bachon ke bare main kya khayal hai?
Riya: Kya bachon ke baare main?
Karan: Nahi nahi tum nahi. Tum mujhse nahi poochne wali ki kya mujhe bache pasand hai ya…
Riya: Haan Haan to kya tumhe bache pasand hai
Karan: Behad, Mujhe sabse pehle ek ladki chahiye beautiful and intelligent tumhari tarah. Main bahut acha daddy banoonga aur mere jaisa koi bhi ladka uske saamne aayega to uski taange tod doonga Haramzada.
Riya: Aur tumhe aisa lagta hai kit um aisa karoge to ek ache pita kehlaoge
Karan: Dekho tum itni achi maa hogi ki main agar bachon ko thoda bigaad bhi doon to kya farak padta hai.
Riya: Acha saari mehnat main karoona ur saare maze tum luto.
Karan: Haan meri nazar se dekho to kamaal ki shaadi hai humari. Bas is family photo ko complete karne ke liye humein ek chota sa kutta rakhna chahiye.
Riya: Aur hum usko tommy bulayenge
Karan: Kafi bakwaas sa naam hai. Acha theek hai tommy. lekin ek shart par, Tommy ki sair ki zimmedari tumhari hai, main yeh sab nahi kar sakta.
Riya: Done
Karan: Main sirf use khane ki table par baith kar apni plate se haddiyan khilaoonga le tommmy kha le tommy kha. That’s all I am gonna do.
Riya: To shaadi ke baad tum bache aur tommy ko bigaadne ke alawa kya karoge?
Karan: Aur karne ko hai hi kya main bas maze se aram se apni zindagi jiyoonga apne bache aur tommy ke saath….. aur haan tumhare saath bhi! Sorry!
Riya: To main bache aur tommy ke baad aati hoon
Karan: No no that was a mistake, tumhare saath
Riya: To main bache aur tommy ke baad aati hoon
Karan: No Riya that was…. I am sorry
Riya: Agar tumne mera naam bache aur tommy ke baad liya to main tumhare chote chote chote chote tukde kar ke usi tommy ko khila doongi
Karan: Acha baba acha I am sorry aaj ke baat bache aur tommy baad main sabse jyada tumhe pyaar karoonga.




2- Dil Chahta Hai

Sameer: Oh my god! Main Priya ko phone karna bhool gaya She is gonna kill me
Sid: Tu Priya se itna darta kyon hai
Sameer: Yaar main us se darta nahi hoon I love her aur main use dukh nahi pahunchana chata use khon nahi chata main
Aakash: Sameer, meri samajh main yeh nahi aata tu use bardasht kaise karta hai girlfriend kam aur boss jyada lagti hai
Sameer: Aakash is waqt mujhe tumhari Vishesh Tippani ki nahi tumhar madad ki zaroorat hai. Kya karoon ab.
Sid: Tujhe kya lagta hai
Aakash: Main batata hoon to use phone laga aur maafi maang aur use bol kit u aakash se fir kabhi nahi milega.
Sameer: Shut up man aakash tu janta hai main aisa nahi karoonga
Aakash: Kahin use dukh na pahunche kahin tu use kho na de. Ha ha ha Christ.
Sameer: Tu kabhi nahi sudharega na. Sameer tu itni si baat ko itna serious kyon bana raha hai. Just relax….Relax use phone laga baat kar sab theek ho jayega. Ok.
Sameer: Hiie Pri…ya
Sameer: Haan main
Sameer: Magar vo
Sameer: Suno to
Sameer: Tumne to
Sameer: Lekin main
Sameer: Kab se keh
…….
…….
Sameer:Main aakash ke yahan
Sameer: Hellllo!!!


3- Top Gun-
Viper: Gentleman you are the top 1% of all naval aviators, the elite, best of the best We will make you better. Fly at least two combat missions a day 10 classes in between, evaluation of your performance. Now at each combat sequence you will meet a different challenge, every encounter will be much more dangerous. We will teach you to ride the F14 to the edge of the envelope faster than you have ever flown before and more dangerous. We don’t make policies here, gentleman elected officials civilians do that we are instilments of the policy. Although we are not at war we must act as if we are at war.
Goose: When are you doing
Maverick: Just wondering who is the best?

Viper: Do some of you wonder who the best is, they are up here on this plaque on the wall. The best driver and his RIO from each class has his name on it and they have option to be instructors here at Top Gun. So you think your name is gonna be here?
Maverick: Yes Sir
Viper: That’s pretty arrogant considering the company you are in
Maverick (Pause): Yes Sir
Viper: I like that in a pilot. Remember when its over out there we are all in the same team.


4- Sholay-
Mausi: Ghar main jawan beti pathar ki sil ki tarah hoti hai
Jai: Sach kaha mausi aapne bada bojh hai aap pe
Mausi: Lekin beta is bojh ko koi kuen main to fenk nahi deta. Bura nahi manna lekin itna to poochna hi padta hai ki ldka karta kya hai, ladke ka khandan kya hai, uske lachan kaise hai, kamata kitna hai
Jai: Kamane ka to yeh hai mausi ki ek baar biwi bachon ki zimmedaari sir pea a gayi to kamane bhi lagega
Mausi: To kya abhi kuch bhi nahi kamata.
Jai: Nahi nahi yeh maine kab kaha mausi. Kamata hai, lekin roz roz to aadmi jeet nahi sakta na, kabhi haar bhi jaata hai bechara
Mausi: Haar jaata hai??
Jai: Haan mausi kambakht jua cheez hi aisi hai ab main kya kahoon.
Mausi: Haiin to kya zuari hai?
Jai: Chi chi chi mausi who aur zuari na na na who to bahut hi acha aur nek ladka hai lekin ek baar sharab pee li na phir ache bure ka kahan hosh rehta hai. Haath pakad kar bitha liya kisi ne jua khelne ab isme bechare Veeru ka kya dosh hai
Mausi: Theek kehte ho beta Zuari who, Sharabi Woh, lekin usme uska koi dosh nahi.
Jai: Mausi aap to mere dost ko galat samajh rahi hai, Wo to itna seedha aur bhola hai. Basanti se uski shaadi kar ke to dekhiye Jue aur sharab ki aadat do din main choot jayegi.
Mausi: Are beta mujh budhiya ko samjha rahe ho, yeh sharab aur jue ki aadat kisi ki chooti hai aaj tak.
Jai: Mausi aap Veeru ko nahi janti vishwas kijiye who is tarah ka insaan nahi hai. Ek baar shaadi ho gayi to who us gaane wali ke ghar jaana band kar dega bas. Sharab apane aap chooth jayegi.
Mausi: Hai!!! Bas yehi ek kami reh gayi thi to kya kisi gane wali ke ghar bhi aana jaana hai.
Jai: To usme kaun si buri baat hai mausi gaana sun ne to Raja Maharaja aur unche unche khandan ke log jaate hai
Mausi: To beta ye bhi batate jao ki tumhare yeh gunwan dost kis khandan ke hai
Jai: Bas mausi khandan ka pata chalet hi hum aapko khabar de denge
Mausi: Ek baat ki daad doongi beta bhale 100 buraiyan ho tumhare dost main tumhare muh se uske liye tareef hi nikalti hai.
Jai: Ab kya karoon mausi mera to dil hi kuch aisa hai. To main yeh rishta pakka samjhoo

5- Notting Hill-
ANNA: What's in there?
WILLIAM: Gardens. All these streets round here have these mysterious communal gardens in the middle of them. They're like little villages.
ANNA: Let's go in.
WILLIAM: Ah no -- that's the point -- they're private villages -- only the people who live round the edges are allowed in.
ANNA: You abide by rules like that?
WILLIAM: Ahm..Heck no -- other people do -- but not me -- I just do what I want.
WILLIAM (casually): Whoopsidaisies.
ANNA: What did you say?
WILLIAM: Nothing.
ANNA: Yes, you did.
WILLIAM: No, I didn't.
ANNA: You said 'whoopsidaisies.'
WILLIAM: I don't think so. No one has said 'whoopsidaisies,' do they -- I mean unless they're...
ANNA: There's no 'unless.' No one has said "whoopsidaisies" for fifty years and even then it was only little girls with blonde ringlets.
WILLIAM: Exactly. Here we go again.
WILLIAM: Whoopsidaisies.
WILLIAM: It's a disease I've got -- it's a clinical thing. I'm taking pills and having injections -- it won't last long.
ANNA: Step aside.
WILLIAM: Actually be careful Anna -- it's harder than it looks...
WILLIAM: Oh no it's not -- it's easy.
ANNA: Come on, Flops.
WILLIAM: Now seriously -- what in the world in this garden could make that ordeal worthwhile?
She leans forward -- and, she kisses him. (pause)
WILLIAM: Nice garden.
ANNA: 'For June, who loved this garden from Joseph who always sat beside her.' Some people do spend their whole lives together.

6- Guru-

Gurukant Desai: Khada ho jaoon ya iske liye bhi license chahiye. Aap kehte hai main kanoon ke khilaaf hoon. 40 saal pehle ek aur aadmi tha jo kanoon ke khilaaf tha, aaj hum unko Bapu kehte hai. Unke waqt main gulami kanoon tha, unhone naya kanoon banaya humari azadi ka kanoon. Main bapu nahi hoon main bas apna dhanda karna janta hoon, mehnat janta hoon garibi janta hoon.

Do kameez ek biwi aur ek saale le kar Bombay aaya tha socha tha business karoonga. Yahan pahuncha to dekha ki dhande karne ke saare darwaze band the. Who khulte the to sirf ameeron ke liye. Sarkari darwaze the yeh aap ke banaye hue ya to laat mar kar khulte the ya ji hazoori de ke. Maine dono kiya jahan laat mar sakta tha laat maari, jahan bola salaam do maine bola salaam lo. Aaj mujhe yahan khada kar ke aap log yeh kah rahe ki yeh aadmi itni laat kyon marta hai, sala salam bahut karta hai.
Kis baat se naraz hai aap meri tarakki se ya meri trakki ki tezi se ya isliye sab gaussa hai ki ek mamooli ganwar ki had se aagey chala gaya hoon main
Aapne ilzaam lagaya hai na mujhe par excise, custom, income tax ye tax who tax.jab dhanda maine shuru kiya tha In sab shabdon ka matlab nahi janta tha kai baar gira hoon tab jaa kar seekha hoon. Paise bachane ke liye Payedhooni se 20-20 km chala hoon Kelasilk ka ye bada gadda sar pe dho ke. Paise ki keemat kya hoti hai main janta hoon, agar paisa ban sakta tha to maine banaya hai lekin sirf apne liye nahi apne 30 lakh shareholders ke liye bhi.
Aapke kuch 3 minute baaki hai
Mere ko yeh golf khelna nahi aata, ye ghode ki race bhi nahi khelta hoon lekin apne dhande ka mazboot khiladi hoon main. Polyster banana janta hoon fibre, chemical wo bhi A1 quality ka sabse saste daam main. Yeh hai meri galti is liye maafi mangoon aap se………….Petrol pump attendant tha main dabbe le ke ghoomta hai jaise apna desh haath faila ke ghoomta hai world bank ke aagey paise de do sadak banana hai. Kyon na badle kismet humari humari aur humare desh ki, aap chahte hai main humesha petrol pump attendant rahoon. Humein kyon teesri duniya bulaya jaata hai humein bhi haq hai pehli duniya ban ne ka aur hum ban sakte hai. Hum wahan pahunch sakte hai who upar top tak.
Yahan tak pahunchne ke liye bahut kuch khoya hai maine yeh haath khoye hai maine latka rehta hai sala. Aur jab tak yeh enquiry khatam hogi na jaane kya kya kho doonga main apni awaz, apna dimaag. Lekin ek cheez aap mujhse nahi cheen paoge who hai meri himmat, who nahi khoonga main. Kyone ki meri himaat aam aadmi ki himmat hai, Is desh ki himmat hai. Arey is desh ki tarakki par kaunsi enquiry bithayenge aap aur humein kaun si enquiry rok payegi.
Aap ne mujhe 5 minute diya than a sadhe 4 minute main sab khatam kar diya. 30 second munafa yahi hota hai business aur agar iske liye bhi aap mujhe sazaa sena chahe to de dijiye Gurukant Desai saza se nahi darta.


7- Thank you for Smoking-
Joey: So, what happens when you're wrong?
Nick: Well, Joey, I'm never wrong.
Joey: But you can't always be right.
Nick: Well, if it's your job to be right, then you're never wrong.
Joey: But what if you are wrong?
Nick: Okay, let's say that you're defending chocolate and I'm defending vanilla. Now, if I were to say to you, "Vanilla's the best flavor ice cream", you'd say …?
Joey: "No, chocolate is."
Nick: Exactly. But you can't win that argument. So, I'll ask you: So you think chocolate is the end-all and be-all of ice cream, do you?
Joey: It's the best ice cream; I wouldn't order any other.
Nick: Oh. So it's all chocolate for you, is it?
Joey: Yes, chocolate is all I need.
Nick: Well, I need more than chocolate. And for that matter, I need more than vanilla. I believe that we need freedom and choice when it comes to our ice cream, and that, Joey Naylor, that is the definition of liberty.
Joey: But that's not what we're talking about.
Nick: Ah, but that's what I'm talking about.
Joey: But … you didn't prove that vanilla's the best.
Nick: I didn't have to. I proved that you're wrong, and if you're wrong, I'm right.
Joey: But you still didn't convince me.
Nick: Because I'm not after you. I'm after them.

Feeding myself on connectivity and bandwidth for ages, IMs have become as crucial part of my daily dose as the mobile phones. I mean I have more active contacts on my Gtalk & YM lists than on mobile phone. Lately with increasing contacts and random people appearing in my contact list and I seriously bugged by how people behave on Chat. So here I spill the beans of my 10 paise of wisdom on (I wanted to throw 5 pence but I still get my emoluments in INR) Chattiquettes

1. While adding someone- if you are adding me on your chatting list it is really a good idea to send an IM or a mail telling who you are and why you would like to speak to me (especially if you met me 5 years ago in a party when I was seven drinks down I hardly think your name would ring a bell). Especially if your chat id is jerkorder1@chat.com then you need to know I would be in no interest to be in conversations with some jerk of order first until you specify who you are.
2. The Busy Sign- You know all the IMs come with some signs which indicate the recipient is Busy (Gtalk has red and green dots next to the name, Yahoo has a red color dash against the person’s smiley icon), so they are not just for the color blindness test but are meant for some rather larger purpose in life. When you find a busy sign next to my name it is a good idea to check first that whether I am in a state to talk or not. Your ‘Howdy’ and ‘My 3^rd girlfriend’s 2^nd ex boyfriend is an ass’ kind of message might be an irritant in the work I am doing.
3. Perennially Busy- if you always keep you IM to busy then I think you should sign out and try to complete the work first. I mean it’s perfectly understandable your need to announce publically that the work is killing you and you are working your backside off and somehow you are still alive (and everyone wonders why you are) but apart from it people would stop respecting to your busyness. So for heaven’s sake put the sign when you are actually busy and want people to confirm your availability to talk.
4. What’s New/Aur Kya syndrome- If this is a frequent occurrence in the conversation with me then boy you need to understand neither I am George Bush who would come up with I bombed after every ten minutes nor I am the Superman (trust me I might look as good as him but You would never find me wearing my underpants over my pants) who would tell you I saved the earth from and not even a cinema hall which changes the show every 3 hours. I am sorry to say I am boring and dull person who has a routine life and if something new happens I am the first one who would announce it on this very blog, twitter and mails. So if the first answer was ‘Nothing New’ then trust me answer wouldn’t change much in another 15 minutes.
5. Secret messages- The status messages are you know kind of Public Announcement system the message is meant for everyone who is intentionally or accidentally in your IM list. So if someone asks what your message is all about and you reply “Ohhh! It is not for you, it is meant only for me and her” than trust me you are acting like a jerk, if you need to send across a message across to a specific audience in your IM list. There is a tool invented by Mr. Raymond Samuel Tomlinson, and it is called an E-Mail and it also has a subject line you can post the messages distinguishably to the selective recipients.
6. The disappearing acts- If you are the one like the Chershire Cat who loves to appear and disappear unannounced, you must understand it is not even close to amusing. I know there are some calls very difficult to control and stop midway but saying a message like “back after some time” or “Be Right Back” or “talk to you later” would actually be convenient for the moron typing frivolously at the other end. I know you are very busy and there are hazaar things calling for your attention but it’s always pleasant & comfortable for the guy on the other end.
7. Prompt Replies- You are busy, and so is everyone else. It doesn’t bring the earth crashing down upon you if you reply to a ping. Saying “Busy TTUL” takes just 8 characters and some 5 seconds to convey the message across. It just might be the person is counting on you for something important. By the way if you are too busy with something then what are you doing online. I mean I understand the need for connectivity but having an internet connection and IM doesn’t makes you Pervez Musharraf that you will only budge to American threats.
8. Voice Chat- Hello people I live in a country called India where we fight out our life for love, peace and an extra MB of bandwidth. The voice conference over my internet connection sucks big time and yes I don’t even have a microphone. So next time when you ping me from the phoren Land be prepared to type.
9. Block- If you are blocked in my messenger list then trust me I would have a very good reason to do so. So don’t ask me why did I block you until and unless you want me to rape you or go on an insulting spree. There is a technique called introspection, follow the same and you would get all your answers. (Even then you don’t get the answer, ok let me state it for you I AM TRYING TO AVOID TALKING TO YOU. No I wasn’t trying to test the Block feature of my IM absolutely not I already know how to works)
10. Taking for Granted- If you have an internet connection and an instant messenger Id doesn’t mean they have hired me as their personal entertainer. I have all the rights to give non conversational answers and ignore your presence in my life. I have a life beyond IMs and have a friends’ list beyond you. So next time don’t ever try to take me for granted.

These were my 10 paise on the etiquettes of the IM. If you found this article rude yes it was meant to be this way.

p.s.: All these chattiquettes are not meant for close buddies and they know their liberties.

Every time I see Top Gun which is one of my all time favorite movies, one scene makes me nostalgic, when during the second hop Maverick is defeated by Jester and all the Top Gun Pilots are in the Washroom-

Goose: At least Viper got Iceman before he got us. We still got a shot at it.

Maverick:It was stupid I know better than that. It will never happen again

Goose: I know (Gets up)

Goose: I know......

Thats the kind of confidence which marks unbelievable friendship. I am one of the few lucky guys who got a chance to be trusted like goose did Maverick.
Thanks Waggy, for being there, saying I know with you I can never meet an accident, sitting at abnormal speeds with me, and always believing in me.

Now don’t get me wrong with this post, I am one of the guys who are in love with the technology. All the girls in my life have been extremely jealous of the special attention received by the gadgets and this includes my mom who being sheer jealous of my deep love for my samurai video game when she wanted me to be hooked to ECO-101, she threw it out of the window. Though she claims it was for my good and out of respect I don’t disagree.

I always had a fear that one day some girl would be hot & happening enough to sway my mind of my little gizmo toys. Today Alee finally managed to pull it off in my life. I shared the following conversation and for a change I was speaking today for the most part (Mostly because she was engrossed in making a power point presentation. Which might be a raison d’être for my thoughts)

So we started ….

Me: Do you actually believe that technology makes our life simpler?

Alee: Yyyyess!!! (Afraid is he going to start again)

Then I started….

You know what, the thing with technology is so weird. It simply seems to be way out of purpose. You know two decades back we didn’t have the computers so common and alike. People used to rely on written or typed stuff. Given the fact that people used to either write or type the documents our regular documents used to be not more than 4-5 pages. The recipient of the document used to respect them and used to read them properly. ( I still remember my parents telling me stories of commendable people who would send the letter back marking grammatical errors and spelling mistakes to people and they were expected to correct them and learn from it, I sometimes get scared what will I teach my children when you type and there is red line underneath the word you just ignore it. BUT DON’T FORGET TO PRESSS F7 in the end before sending)

Then came the era of word processors when people could actually type in length and can get a printout the process was easier and supposedly less time consuming but was negated by a direct increase in the page count of the document. Then came Google and the documents swelled to unfathomable proportions and today even a 12 year old spans his project to volumes of literature.

I still remember the first class of my MBA they taught me how to write an executive summary. The objective of the executive summary is to give the insight to the reader in one or two paragraphs, as no one has time to read through the loads you would have prepared. My inquisitive mind when asked “If no one is going to read them anyway then what’s the point of having it in the first place. Why just don’t submit and executive summary only?” was pushed aside by the roar of the professor. Then we learnt the art of Power Point, you submit the 1000 page document which no one can/want/will read so you come up with bullet points to push you point in to the target’s head ( I guess that’s why they called it a power point). Amazed by the ability and capability of the power point the whole world got into it. Now if you find a power point ending within 15 slides you know it is forward messages with either some cute chicks in the night wear or some catastrophe which you can avoid by pressing the forward button on your outlook.

I mean come on with all the information in this world who has the time to actually go through it. Being into ERP business I sometimes wonder does a CEO of a company actually knows that the average time to figure out the complete capabilities of an ERP system exceeds multiple times the shelf life of the CEOs. But being a quick learner he hires someone from the breed of hardworking people called MBA's and makes them work on another most powerful analysis tool which is blessed upon the human race- Microsoft Excel.

The poor chap burns midnight oil and struggles day in and day out with huge loads of documents/numbers data tweaking a bit and a byte there, trying to give a few more degrees of elevation to the sweet little things on the excel work sheet known as – YoY Profit, YoY Revenue, QoQ Profit, QoQ Revenue and blah and more blah. All his existence resting on .0001 degrees of elevation and a 150 page document specifying that why the .0001 degree is justified. This bible of 150 pages which is dispatched to the intended recipient called shareholders (which essentially are people like me, I mean people who have De-mat account J ) who are supposed to read them. However, even I don’t have the time to read 150 pages, so essentially one fine day my mom walks in and the 150 page bible is ripped page by page to place in the casserole to provide a base below the paper napkins to keep the water of the food. You know this kind of paper works too well mom says. Pity the guy who slogged his backside for that elevation.

Hmmmpff and I didn’t stop here but went on my take on mobile technology, more about it in a later post. But I must say power point does one commendable thing, giving poor guy a chance to speak more than the lady at least for the time when she is trying to work on another cent of elevation…..

Alee you can do wonders, I can't believe I spoke so much that too against....Sniff Sniff

Where is this smoke coming from, Oh darling you are so sexy, Love your attitude, Love your name Dell Latitude D520, and your bright 15" wide eyes. You know that i didn't meant everything I said. You know you can keep me hooked with you for ages (Okay! you just have to keep you WiFi on baby)

Facts of Life

I came up with this line while talking to a close friend. I am too good :P

Life is like a river, the flow does not determines where you go but the way you row does.