Ginger & Cardamom

Some professions have since times immortal caught the fantasies of the kid. I am sure there would be many little boys who wanted to be a fighter pilot and little girls who wanted to be teachers at one point in their lives. Another such glorified profession was scientists, you always wanted to be a scientist when they taught you inventions and discoveries back in class 3^rd. I also got the same bug when I was 8 years old studying in class 3^rd. I also wanted to become a scientist and my ultimate purpose of living was to make a time machine. I dropped the Idea when I saw the thickness of the books which an uncle of mine read being scientists. After all I didn’t have any use for the time machine. And till date I regret the decision.

If I would have made a time machine, I could have traveled back in time and talked Sarat Chandra Chatarjee out of writing Devdas. I am sure I could have convinced him to write a futuristic lifestyle novel about 3 looser kind of guys who screw up their life in IIT to sneak out question papers. It would have been a win-win situation. Our beloved writer would have earned better amounts in royalties and a times in history for predicting accurately the lives of Engineering students and I would have saved myself and the human race from the 3 degrees of torture Devdas- Dilip Kumar, Devdas- Sharukh khan, and the last and the most excruciating DevD.

I always thought I am one of the people with quite an appetite and patience for movies. I can enjoy almost any kind of crappy movie, even the ones starring Rakhi Sawant, Fardeen Khan, or Harman Baweja. But the league of Devdas is something so painful that it just beats the brain into a pulp, I am sure if in Ghajini, the villain had forcibly shown Aamir Khan all the 2 Devdas and 1 DevD whatever was left of his 15 minutes of memory also would have faded away. Thank god for Aamir that DevD wan’t released then.

I mean why since so many years people are hell bent upon glorifying the biggest losers. Think of a guy who is a jerk of first order and insults the dignity of the “Pure Love” and dumps his childhood girlfriend (I don’t understand why Ram Sena doesn't bans “DevD-asses” for propagating under age romance which also is dead against our so called culture; at least I will have one cause to support them). Then later he finds he was wrong, the girlfriend marries someone else and our loser turns to drinking. I mean what a lame story and there were people who made movies on this, that too thrice. The only change being Dilip Kumar & Unknown Liquor, Sharukh Khan & Whiskey, and Abhay Deol & Vodka.

Coming to DevD the most hilarious part is when actually Anurag Kashyap comes and tells on TV & radio that DevD is a different movie from Devdas, yeah Mr. Kashyap, it is indeed different it has unique blend of a prehistoric lame story and newspaper headlines of DPS, RK Puram MMS scandal and Sanjeev Nanada BMW scandal. What a thought, who did you hire to write a script a page 3 columnist. I also understand that DevD has a different ending, a positive one where the loser quits drinking and marries the s**t(well, I don’t like using the world but you used it in your movie too). Now let me make this clear, if you wanted to send a message across you could have made an ad film 30 sec long, okay make it 1 min long if you feel so much about the issue where you could have written in bold “DO NOT CONSUME LIQUOR, IT MIGHT RUIN YOUR LIFE” that would have sufficed. Our health minister would have arranged for the government financing of your film through tax payers money if you would have brought the topic to him over a round of drinks. Why the hell you needed to make a 3 hour long nonsense epic to torture us, to tell this. If you were thinking that you actually made a sexually stimulating DevD by your build up by showing the characters so desperate to have sex, trust me the c-grade porn movies have a better build-up than DevD. I mean who shows a bedding spread right across the green fields and a girl desperate to make out and a guy who is feeling cranky (Oh please, I was talking of Anurag Kashyap).

So guys anyone of you who has an access to the time machine for the sake of mankind please fly back to 1917 and beg Mr. Sarat Chandra Chatarjee not to write about failed love and the Drunken Men.