Friday, November 23, 2007
Of Marriageable Age
Suddenly we have all grown up, friends and foes. Interestingly what seemed to be the distant future now is a close reality. Suddenly all the relatives who were interested in “Kis class main padh rahe ho Beta” have changed the wavelength to “Aagey ka kya plan hai”.
Faced by the same question I enthusiastically started blabbering my best laid plans how and when I will switch jobs, for what career profiles. The trail of my excited voice meets an interruption and the brakes are applied like Michael Schumacher would if he suddenly finds himself driving on Hosur road in Bangalore during peak times instead of a Race track. “Nahi beta main yeh nahi Shaadi ke baare main pooch rahi thi”.
“What, No…….Yes…” I am cornered is there an escape. No doesn’t seems so, Save me somebody save me, God Please save me. No he doesn’t save anyone, who saves Mummy yes MUMMY!!!!. “Nahi, Aunty Jo mummy bolenegi wohi karenge”. Suddenly the key job in almost everyone’s life is to get me married. “I mean, I have nothing against marriages. Everyone gets married right? My parents did, your parents did. But suddenly the Idea that I am the one who would be tying the nuptial knot (I don’t know what on earth this means, I have been very bad on untangling knots since childhood, may be that scares the shit out of me).
Suddenly people around me asking about the height of the girl I would consider, I always thought, it mattered in the school health cards. I out of utmost honesty try to think on that line, will all my statistical analysis I can not come out with a cut off height as a parameter for someone who would be my wife. Now I wonder how difficult it would have been for my teachers to decide that 40 out of 100 is passing and 39.9 is fail. I have developed immense respect for them for coming out with such an objective figure, keeping in mind the kind of student I am, I would have been in clear trouble if they would have been as confused about passing marks as I am about the perfect height for a girl. I would never ever have managed to pass any of my exams.
I seriously thank all the elderly aunties engaged in the eternal tryst to find my second half, for not asking me the kind of weight and other important statistical features (which I might state if forced by them).
Suddenly everyone seems to have a view that “how well a working woman can adjust into my life style” or “How I need a housewife (wife is more important as I perceive) to manage my household affairs”. The decisions like these seem to be tougher than which MBA college to apply and which to join. I have suddenly become the talk of the parties, the other day my mom was telling me that everyone was asking about me in a marriage she had attended. I was amazed, that despite the fact that I haven’t attended a single marriage ceremony in past 7 years, people still remember me. Out of curiosity I asked on what context I was being discussed, “Good Boy”, “MBA Admissions”, “Career Suggestion”, “My whereabouts” were the plausible contexts on my mind when my mom made me aware of another possibility “of course!! marriage”.
With much continuous hammering on my head by everyone I seem to know, I have started taking this thought very seriously and sometimes I feel why I have to go through this ordeal. For better at least the idea of arranged marriage doesn’t scare me as it does to a lot of people (specially the fairer sex amongst my friends). But still the idea of marriage seems to be too far fetched at current point of time. The thought that scare me of that now I am grown up enough to get married and now children will start calling me “uncle”(actually some already have, more about this later). The whole business of being grown up and having a family is too difficult. A lot of words change their meaning, for example ‘Home’ would no more be my home where my parents lived, ‘Wife’ won’t be the antique my dad and other uncles have, ‘Kids’ won’t be what I am, ‘Planning’ will have gradually shift from career to family. Suddenly so much of change is a bit too drastic, even for someone who is prime advocate of change as an agent. Best of luck to all my friends who are on the same crossroads as I am, for achieving this beautiful dream in reality. When the old fat aunty asks you “Beta Shaadi kab kar rhe ho” you stand up to your full height and say “Meri shaadi ho chuki hai aunty but aap please mummy ko mat batana unhe maloom nahi hai.” And just enjoy the look on her face. Wish I could do it, sigh!!!!
