Ginger & Cardamom

Well as most of you would have read my take on guys & crying here already. Recently Reema wrote back supporting her view point. Well her take is quite interesting. So I am adding a few clarifications and elaborate my point of view.

So let’s first narrow our view only to the emotional tears and Reema’s reason for the guys should actually cry.

1- Well Ancient Greeks Did it- Well firstly I don’t agree that since Ancient Greeks did it so should everyone in the world. Well it would be like saying that Ancient Indians used to burn their women after the death of the husbands and we should keep doing it. Well that’s pointless. Now coming to the second part that why did actually the males in Greece cried. Well the history suggests that Greece is one of the oldest land where male homosexuality in more common words being gay was socially accepted So between men and their relationship there had to be a role player of a woman, which kind of quite indicates about the crying men was a part of society and was accepted culturally.

2- Mangnese Content- Well another point which has been pointed is that Tears help release manganese content out of the body which helps control temperament. Well manganese has a lot of other benefits like formation of hormones which combat infection, assists in the protein build up, helps prevent failing memory and also builds thyroxin for the body. Now one good reason to flush the manganese out of the body?? Anyone?

3- Prolactin – Well supposedly this is something which regulates production in the body. Now coming back to guys crying, if a guy is producing milk through his body the situation is highly abnormal and for most of the reasons will be a disease called galactorrhea and trust me as in all other cases the crying won’t help here either. I am sure you get the point.

4- Emotional Intelligence- Well now let me get this thing clear emotional intelligence has got nothing to do with crying its more about understanding and ability to perceive emotions and use them as a data points and information for effective leadership and decision making. Now a guy who cry on everything doesn’t has more EQ as compared to someone who doesn’t. You know in a similar way that fear of change is an emotion and a person who understands what it is and can use his understanding has more EQ as compared to someone who himself is afraid of change. Similarly in case of crying, a person needs to be able to relate and understand the reason and emotion behind crying, which for most part is grief rather than crying.

5- My Friends say so- Well that is simply not a reason. A lot of my friends have a belief and they would swear by it but one cannot simply generalize it to the entire society. For example, a group of friends who think Marijuana is cool doesn’t reflect the perspective of the entire society and neither makes it correct. So what your friends think is a set of personalized opinion just like I have mine that Guys should not cry. Since we actually friend or connect with likeminded people there is a higher probability of bias in the sample you are conducting the survey with. Definitely you cannot generalize this opinion.

6- Some examples for great men who cried- Well for every great men who cried there would be a 100 others who didn’t. The point is the men were not great because they cried, nor were they respected for this. They are respected for what they are and what they have done in their life.

Now coming back to some tit-bits on my part, I am not saying that it is a sin for guys to cry. My point is that crying does not make them sensitive or caring or good. As a matter of fact, as we have discussed the Sreesanth’s episode of crying, so if I assume that he would be a sensitive guy as many people have suggested, we should look at his statement about a struggling actress that he would not date a struggling actor he would go for a seasoned one. Well if that was really a sensitive guy speaking, I am sorry my definition of sensitivity is all haywire.

There is nothing wrong or right about crying, its not even an emotion. Its an expression of an emotion, and I totally agree that guys can and should be receptive to all kinds of emotions but the expression of emotions by a special form doesn’t make them any superior in any ways. If at all it can do anything it would portray a weak image of them, when the society and biology expects them to be strong (well if you don’t agree to my biologically part then please before arguing back try and talk to the International Olympics Committee and ask why do they have separate events for male and females) .

I spend a lot of time over the internet, and I have an awesome virtual existence where I have friends. But one drawback I always felt about the virtually existence, the personal touch of being friends only comes after a face to face conversation. The online world can start friendships/relationships for you but it’s highly unlikely that it can take it to the next level.

I have always loved the idea of twitter, but surprisingly I have felt that somehow the 140 characters may be enough to communicate, start a relationship but it drops a lot of thinks as well. Here I produce 5 instances I had online where I feel a bit left out/weird-

1- I have a lot of friends on twitter & blogs as I have already mentioned in my last post here but still I don’t think I am aware when are their birthdays and other trivial details like these which I think friends should know. I can add any all of them on a facebook or Orkut but then simply the essence of a virtual presence is a complete persona but it simply isn’t at one place

2- One of my friends Brainstuck, we actually were having a conversation when something conversation happened where actually my comment would have been unjustified if his age wasn’t close to mine (which I had assumed by default). I actually had to specifically ask him his age before giving comments on the situation. Now friends don’t do that.

3- Then another friend of mine Meera, I actually came in touch with her because of her awesome cartoons which I saw during the election period. Now after reading the cartoon and her take on Indian politics I always assumed somewhere she would be an elderly lady around 40 years of age with a very mature and balanced viewpoint on the Political scenario and obviously an amazing sense of humor. Yesterday when she shared her pic on the twitter, I realized the only thing I have misjudged more was to have thought of Meera as a guy. Well this is her pic and you will have an Idea how wrong I was.

4- I met Nikhil the other day at Costa Coffee after interacting with him on twitter and email a couple of times I always had a perception of him as a mature and serious guy. I was actually jaw dropped when I came to know that he was such a chill & cool guy and had actually recently completed his graduation.

5- A lot of times this happens that my friends are not online, I have telephone numbers of them and I have the inquisitiveness why the hell they are not online. Something wrong, something happening but somehow I never call, because it might be inappropriate.

I don’t if it happens only with me, but I think I sometimes feel a need more than twitter, blogs, orkut to make friends. May be I am skeptical, or may be I will grow with time. So people what do you think, have you also made similar mistakes online, do you feel a need for real connect too?

I have thing for meeting and interacting with new people. Generally, I found the fairer sex getting a wrong perception of me. So here I produce 5 pointers that a female interacting me should keep in mind and correct her perception of yours truly. So here my narcissist self goes-

1- I am not sweet and I am not cute- I don’t know why but Sweet & Cute, these are the two adjectives which I so often hear from females about me. Now listen you people I am not sweet and I am not cute at all. As matter of fact I hate these adjectives, why on this earth you would call a guy “cute”. I am not the pug which used to feature in Hutch advertisements. All I am is polite and courteous, so if you are taking this cute and sweet please be aware that you are going to find me rude and arrogant when I think a matter is not of being polite but being direct. So next time you think I am sweet kinds, please re-align your thoughts.

2- I am a listener not an Agony Aunt- If you tell me about a problem and just want me to listen, you might get some advice if you want it. I am a good listener and a practical analyzer of things and situation. But after that, I generally don’t have too much to say on the topic and I expect you to act, if you found the advice practical or relevant. So if you are telling me things again without some rocket science discovery addendum to it, my opinions would not change. And if you think I am enjoying hearing the story how your boyfriend dumped you again for the 5th time, please let it be known I am not interested. If you didn’t get my advice in the first or second time please let it be known my views are, “For the 5th Time!!!! You deserved it, and no matter what I say right now I am sure he would be sleeping in your pants tomorrow morning and dumping you by afternoon.” (I might not say it loudly just to be polite but that’s how it is)

3- I have respect for women but I hate Feminists- I have immense respect for women what they are, for the contribution different women had in shaping my life, which includes my mom, teachers, friends, sisters, ex-girl friend. Everyone has been pivotal in shaping a part of me and I respect them for that and in general for women. I don’t like when Muthaliks of the world beat the women in Mangalore, or Jessica Lal or some girl in an unknown village gets raped/killed, and I actually get very agitated and pissed by it. But for the feminists of the world I have no sympathy points for your “All men are B*****DS” theory because of the fact is that your sick theory makes “All the Women SL*TS”. I have never met a women in my life who did not like being treated with respect and simultaneously being taken care of. So why don’t you keep your feminist theories to yourself and just be normal when you are with me.

4- I do admire hot girls passing by- Yes, I do that and pretty often too. I admire hot & good looking girls including their face, body, clothes, attitude and personality. What I don’t do is pass sleazy comments or follow them back. I just notice them and appreciate the care they take of themselves. Well if you have a problem with it you can’t do too much about it. I think it’s similar to admiring any natural/artificial beauty. I admire TajMahal, I admire machines like bikes, cars, and computer gear, I admire buildings and monuments, I admire girls in the same way. You know, if I know you then may be I can give you feedback/compliments but that’s it . So if you think you have a problem or Moral issues talking to a guy like this then I have just one line advice to you, “To each his own, Thanks a lot”

5- The sexy conversation- Now if the response in the back of your mind is something like this-
Me: Hey, how you doing?
You: Fine. (He is trying to sleep with me)

Me: Hey have you seen latest episode of How I Met Your Mother? You know Barney Slept with Robin?
You: Oh really, I missed that one. (He is trying to sleep with me)

Me: I really had a bad day at office. Wish this recession gets over pretty fast.
You: What happened?? (He is trying to sleep with me)

So I am sure by above specimen you would be thoroughly aware what I am talking about. So if you have this kinds of vibes at the back of your mind, I advise you that you should not be having any conversation with such kind of a guy who is trying to do this to you. Stop talking to him immediately!!! If you do not follow the advice and I get a hint of the voices in your head. I would make sure it follows.
And the simple reason is, your impression about me is derogatory and false for my self-image and you being around is waste of time. So please find someone else to waste and his time, as I am already short of it. And yes you heard it right, I am that selfish.

My post today have been 5 irritating kind of people I do not want to meet online. Social Media and Networking has been a great avenue opener in my life. A large chunk of my social interaction has been limited through this medium, be it real friends or virtual friends. Everything has an upside as well as downside; same thing goes with virtual networking as well.

Here I talk about 5 kinds of people I do not like to interact with.

1- The Bootylicious Man-Makers - Well you have nice display picture flaunting your silicon powered assets, and you promise me a lifetime remembering ecstasy which actually make me a man. I tell you I have been genetically made a man and it was stamped right there after detailed verification on my brith certificate by a qualified MD-MBBS doctor around 27 years back. So I am not sure if you can take man and make a man out of him, what I am sure of is that you can take a man and make a fool out of him. And regarding your blissful ecstasies I would like to tell you a secret, We had a server during college where we had approximately 200 GB porn which was neatly classified on the basis of Ethnicity, age, postures and level of grossness. So the thing is I hardly used/downloaded that collection then and I am not really interested in the bootylicious ecstasies you want me to offer. So Man-Makers of the world please excuse.

2- The Rich Philanthropists- So you got the key to make money, that too sitting at home, using internet. Awesome, that’s so good for you. So well, if you are so happy about it go tell it to Bill gates, Warren Buffet, or Larry Ellison they would be so happy to buy you out, poor people seem to be always struggling to make more money. Who you should not come to is Prats, you know actually the dumb guy really hates you. He will never ever make money, but you know what he is like that so please leave him alone.

3- The Make-You-Biggers- This a latest addition in the area of Internet Technologies. They are the Search Engine Optimizers who can make you rich though you blog. They can help you make money through Adsense. SEO’s of the world my single request to you, do you actually see an adsense on my blog. Yes I do not display ads on my blog, and no its not because of my ignorance of google adsense or inability to comprehend search engine optimization, If I could write device drivers for Linux in CPP 7 years back I am sure I would be able to figure out SEO. So please the adsense is not on my blog for a reason and please don’t spam me with an expectation that I would change it.

4- The Promoters- Oh man you people I don’t hate you. I love the fact that you are entrepreneurs, and I admire the fact and you have recently launched a new site which is nothing less than Rocket science and can change the word for me. It illicit my interest only to a level that you can leave a message and link, if you want a feedback say so and ask for it. Don’t expect me that I would fall in love with as much as you do and would like to talk about it day in and day out. After all you are the one who would get the money on the IPO not me right, so let’s keep your excitement limited to yourself.

5- The Spammers- Well everybody knows them and hates them, but still for the sake of clarity I restate that I am not interested in helping any Nigerian prince, or the poor girl who is 5 since last 10 years or the special photo that would bring me luck or the jerks who keep telling my about walk in interviews, selling me Viagra and genuine fake Rolex watches. Please get a life and let me get some.

As the esteemed readers of the Blog would already be aware that yours truly is actually a teetotaler and doesn’t know how the so hyped “high” of an Alcohol feels like. So I actually discussed the same with some of my friends who have their more than fair share of being “delightfully high” almost thrice a week. So based on inputs from them these are the list of 5 things that give a high higher than alcohol and my hangover remedies for it-

1- Killing High- Playing a Video Game like Counter Strike, Quake, Unreal Tournament, Age of Empires, When you are left alone in the team still you go all the way to win the game, killing everyone else. The feeling that gives rise to surge of adrenalin can only been understood by the people who can spend days playing the game without getting bored out of it.

Hangover Remedy- Mom shouting with the Hitler v 6.0 look on her face to have a bath (immediate relief guaranteed)

2- Speeding High- You are on a road driving, a sonofab***h cuts you off and goes away. That’s a moment of an ultimate high. You sit straight, the eyes narrow revaluating the distances. Gear comes down by two unit, the foot presses on the accelerator, the RPM and speedometer pick up from the slumber. The distance decreasing, 900m, 800m,…100m Finally you cut him off, giving him a finger with your arrogant and spoilt look in a glance and then speed away. What a high! This kind of high also can come through the first time exposure to entities like Transporter, Fast & Furious, Top gun, Death Race & Dhoom.

Hangover Remedy: Sister, Girlfriend, Wife or female friends sitting on the non driving seat. Or the guy who cut you off had a BMW and you were driving a Honda City.

3- Anticipated High- When you out on a date with someone who you really think is absolutely hot. Halfway through the date you realize you have hit on well and your date is already consumed four shots of Tequila. That’s when you get high in anticipation of how lucky you are going to get tonight. For females it generally works other way round, The date should be prefect and the guy just had a glass of vodka wine.

Hangover Remedy: The number of shots shoots to 6 and the date gets all dizzy anticipating she might puke.

4- Lovingly High- The first one year when you are in love with someone and that someone loves you back is a period of an unmatched high. I mean the high lasts longer than that if you can force manage yourself to love the same person over an extended period of time. This is a very dangerous kind of high, can make you behave erratically and over consumption might lead to untimely death. Case in Point: Heer-Ranjha, Laila Manjnu, Romeo-Juliet etc etc. So bottomline is consume with caution.

Hangover Remedies: Lover’s khadus baap, positive pregnancy tests, presence of the other in life and most effective one- Marriage.

5- Chocolaty High- This is one of the easy obtainable high, You go to a nice place order a Sizzling Chocolate Walnut Brownie (You can also order Chocolate Avalanche @ Mochas). The people will bring you an amazing post of a deliciously sweet cake made of amazing walnuts and chocolate. Which would be mounted (not for dry humping you perverts) by a large scoop of vanilla ice cream and a cup full of chocolate sauce poured over the entire thing. And this served on a sizzling plate. Man you reach the seventh heaven.

Hangover Remedy- Well the only remedy which can work on this high is, keep the bill of the expensive Gym you have joined in your pocket and see it before you order and while you eat. Though this is not a sure shot remedy works otherwise for me I tend to order another piece thinking “Isiliye to Gym kar rahe hai ki aur kha sake”

So these are the things that give me a high higher than the Alcohol. The topic of the post was suggested to me by a very dearie friend, and coincidentally its her birthday today “Many happy returns of the day to you”.